Many people nowadays spend a large part of their free time using a smartphone. What do you think are the reasons for this? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

#people #part #time #smartphone #development

These days the majority of individuals depend on their mobile phones for the majority of their leisure

time

. In my opinion,

this

is negative development which is lead to heart disease, being overweight, less physical activity and

also

problems in later life and altered life. One Serious problem that can arise from

people

tends to keep in touch with others by sending messages on

smartphones

As a result

, residents have less face-to-face communication with their neighbours and friends even family members.

This

means

smartphones

can break down the connections of society in terms of degradation and obesity.

For instance

, sitting two hours in front of the computer screen every day cause poor eyesight as well as brain dysfunction.

Also

, I presume that

people

who have eye-related diseases stem from seeing on the screen for a long

time

besides

people

who have a sedentary lifestyle are prone to obesity. There are obvious reasons why individuals consider using a cell phone as the main way of entertainment and some services which mean shops, tickets for concerts and airports, as well as access to information on almost any subject are now available online.

Secondly

, technology companies pay attention to entertainment which leads to the production of a large number of relaxed applicants that are available on

smartphones

without paying the cost.

For example

, in their spare

time

people

and teenagers can easily enjoy a favourite film or uptade news by accessing unlimited resources on the internet via mobile devices,

such

smartphones

, laptops and tablets. In Conclusion, there are some clear reasons explaining why

people

tend to use mobile phones in their leisure

time

. I believe that it is detrimental to health as well as the cause of obesity.

Submitted by wiseguy93 on Wed Oct 19 2022

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

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‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

286 words

7.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Many people nowadays spend a large part of their free time using a smartphone. What do you think are the reasons for this? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

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the pie chartbelow shows the main reason why agriculture land become less productive. the taable shows how these causes effected three regions of the eorld during the 1990s.

In many countries plastic shopping bags are the main type of rubbish. They cause water and land pollution, so they should be banned. To what extent do you agree?