Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Other, however,say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required.
To improve
people's Change the verb form
Improving
health
highly depends on some factors. They may be sports
centers
or some places to do physical activities. Change the spelling
centres
Moreover
controlling transport
systems or developing eating
culture can Correct article usage
an eating
also
be taken as other measures.
Firstly
sports
facilities leave really
strong influence on Add an article
a really
the
lifestyles. As today world is too computerized and Correct article usage
apply
work
atmosphere is stressful. We need to go to the gyms or swim in the pools. Add an article
the work
For instance
,after eight hours work
Change preposition
of work
day
a computer programmer should walk in Add a comma
,day
an
Correct article usage
the
open air
or on a running track. Another Example is drivers. They sit and drive for hours all day. So Add a hyphen
open-air
sports
are needed as the
vital part of their daily lives. Correct article usage
a
Therefore
places and complexes where we can do sports
are essential if we want to improve population health
. However
increasing physical Add a comma
,However
activities
is not sufficient to keep everybody healthy. Fix the agreement mistake
activity
On the other hand
, transport
can be managed by the government and eating culture should be bettene
do increase healthcare. Because Correct your spelling
better
between
over using
personal automobiles causes obesity and unhealthy food decrease the quality of healthy Correct your spelling
overusing
Correct your spelling
lifestyles
life styles
. Correct your spelling
lifestyles
For instance
, when we drive every day, air
is highly polluted. Add an article
the air
Additionally
, we do very
little movement. Add an article
the very
a very
That is
why health
decreases have statistically risen for the last
decade. Consequently
, other measures as
controlling Correct quantifier usage
such as
transport
vehicle
and creating better eating traditions are required to be taken.
In conclusion, developing Fix the agreement mistake
vehicles
sports
facilities cannot make the situation better itself. Therefore
, transport
control and eating traditions are significantly desired to be taken the health
of general
population.Add an article
the general
a general
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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.
A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).
Stick to this essay structure:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion