Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Other, however,say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required.

To improve
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Improving
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people's
health
highly depends on some factors. They may be
sports
centers
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centres
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or some places to do physical activities.
Moreover
controlling
transport
systems or developing
eating
Correct article usage
an eating
show examples
culture can
also
be taken as other measures.
Firstly
sports
facilities leave
really
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a really
show examples
strong influence on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
lifestyles. As today world is too computerized and
work
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the work
show examples
atmosphere is stressful. We need to go to the gyms or swim in the pools.
For instance
,after eight hours
work
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of work
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day
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,day
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a computer programmer should walk in
an
Correct article usage
the
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open air
Add a hyphen
open-air
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or on a running track. Another Example is drivers. They sit and drive for hours all day. So
sports
are needed as
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
vital part of their daily lives.
Therefore
places and complexes where we can do
sports
are essential if we want to improve population
health
.
However
Add a comma
,However
show examples
increasing physical
activities
Fix the agreement mistake
activity
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is not sufficient to keep everybody healthy.
On the other hand
,
transport
can be managed by the government and eating culture should be
bettene
Correct your spelling
better
between
do increase healthcare. Because
over using
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overusing
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personal automobiles causes obesity and unhealthy food decrease the quality of healthy
Correct your spelling
lifestyles
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life styles
Correct your spelling
lifestyles
show examples
.
For instance
, when we drive every day,
air
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the air
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is highly polluted.
Additionally
, we do
very
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the very
a very
show examples
little movement.
That is
why
health
decreases have statistically risen for the
last
decade.
Consequently
, other measures
as
Correct quantifier usage
such as
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controlling
transport
vehicle
Fix the agreement mistake
vehicles
show examples
and creating better eating traditions are required to be taken. In conclusion, developing
sports
facilities cannot make the situation better itself.
Therefore
,
transport
control and eating traditions are significantly desired to be taken the
health
of
general
Add an article
the general
a general
show examples
population.
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • public health
  • sports facilities
  • physical activity
  • exercise
  • chronic diseases
  • heart disease
  • obesity
  • inclusivity
  • participation
  • safe environment
  • social interaction
  • community engagement
  • comprehensive approach
  • health education programs
  • environmental factors
  • healthcare infrastructure
  • quality healthcare services
  • public health initiatives
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