A friend is considering buying a house nearby, but you have decided to leave the area due to a rise in crime. Write a letter to your friend advising them not to move into the neighbourhood. In your letter: – Recommend that your friend not go ahead with the purchase – Give the reasons behind your decision to leave – Suggest possible alternative areas that you know
Dear James,
It's been a
while
since we had not exchanged a word.
Our common friend had told me that you were thinking of buying a house next door, but I bought a new apartment in another area
and would move there in the upcoming month. I think you're not aware of the miserable situation in this
area
.
Let me tell you about the downside of this
area
. This
area
is not safe to live in anymore especially for a single person like you because of the rise in crime. Last
month, someone stole my wallet while
shopping in the local market, and similar incidents have happened daily. That's why I suggest you reconsider buying a house here.
I think you'd move to the west side of Bramley as its neighbourhood is safer, and I bought apartment number 7327A in the same area
. This
area
is well known for its food market and has a massive mall in the city centre. If you need any help with purchasing the property there, feel free to ask me.
Best Wishes,
AmanSubmitted by immysandhu94 on
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task achievement
Consider adding specific details about the crime rate, such as official statistics or more particular examples, to strengthen your argument against moving into the neighborhood.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph clearly presents a single idea. Some paragraphs could be more distinct and focused on one main point.
coherence cohesion
Add transitions between paragraphs to improve the logical flow. This helps guide the reader through your main points and enhances overall coherence.
task achievement
You have a suitable writing tone, friendly and concerned, which is appropriate for informing a friend about a serious matter.
coherence cohesion
Your greeting and closing are appropriate and provide a personal touch, which suits the context of writing to a friend.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite