ome people believe that money is the most important factor for achieving happiness. However, others believe that happiness has nothing to do with money. what is your opinion?

#ome #people #money #factor #happiness

It is considered by some

people

that

money

plays a crucial role in being happy , while others oppose

this

notion.

Ipersonaly

Correct your spelling

I personally

believe

Change the verb form

believes

show examples

that

money

is not associated with joyfulness.

This

essay will

firstly

discuss that in some cases

money

does bring

Correct your spelling

welfare

wellfare

Correct your spelling

welfare

and comfort into

peoples

Change noun form

people's

show examples

Correct your spelling

lives

life's

lifes

Correct your spelling

lives

show examples

and

secondelyit

Correct your spelling

secondly it

will describe how

money

is of no value in many other occasions in which

people

would be

gratitude

Replace the word

grateful

show examples

. on the one side ,

money

would be linked with contentment .

In other words

, financial status provides the requirement to

fulfill

Change the spelling

fulfil

show examples

basic

Correct your spelling

necessities

nessecities

Correct your spelling

necessities

and

achieving

Wrong verb form

achieve

show examples

peoples

Change noun form

people's

show examples

ambitions ,

such

as food,

Correct your spelling

clothes

show examples

cloths

Correct your spelling

clothes

show examples

,shelter and their desire for traveling or being healthy.

For instance

people

who find delight in

traveling

Change the spelling

travelling

show examples

all over the world or in having luxury houses would not be able to enjoy those without

money

.There fore in absence of the

money

,life

is suppose

Change the verb form

is supposed

show examples

to be miserable and no

Fix the agreement mistake

one

show examples

ones

Correct your spelling

one

show examples

can enjoy it to the fullest. on the

flipside

Correct your spelling

flip side

show examples

,prosperity seems to come internally and is apart from having

huge

Add an article

a huge

show examples

amount

Fix the agreement mistake

amounts

show examples

fund

Fix the agreement mistake

funds

show examples

Correct your spelling

possession

possesion

Correct your spelling

possessions

Tat

Correct your spelling

That

show examples

is to say ,our world is full of sorrow , grief and suffering ,which

not

Add a missing verb

is not

show examples

only

solved

Add a missing verb

be solved

show examples

with

money

but

also

can

caused

Change the verb form

be caused

show examples

by the stress of earning that.Along with

this

,many satisfactory items are

Correct your spelling

priceless

pricless

Correct your spelling

priceless

like loving relationships,

Correct your spelling

family

familly

Correct your spelling

family

gathering

Fix the agreement mistake

gatherings

show examples

Correct your spelling

watching

whatching

Correct your spelling

watching

beautifull

Correct your spelling

beautiful

sunrise.

For

example

Add a comma

,example

show examples

an underprivileged

chile

Correct your spelling

child

show examples

who

is use

Change the verb form

is used

show examples

to playing in

mud

Add an article

the mud

show examples

every day with her friends would be

Correct your spelling

overwhelmed

overwelmed

Correct your spelling

overwhelmed

with laughter in comparison to a

richfamilly

Correct your spelling

rich family

child who has all

kine

Correct your spelling

kind

show examples

of expensive toys but no

Fix the agreement mistake

one

show examples

ones

Correct your spelling

one

show examples

to play

Correct your spelling

with

eith

Correct your spelling

with

Correct your spelling

Additionally

Additional

Additionaly

Correct your spelling

Additionally

, when

Correct your spelling

someone

show examples

some one

Correct your spelling

someone

show examples

lose

Change the verb form

loses

show examples

Correct your spelling

family

familly

Correct your spelling

family

member by death ,

money

has not of much significance

for

Change preposition

show examples

that person and smoothy words or sympathy might be more calming.

However

money

Correct word choice

although money

show examples

can ease

out

Change preposition

apply

show examples

some needs it still has nothing to do with merriment. In conclusion,I would mention all

Correct your spelling

wealthy

wealthier

wealthi

Correct your spelling

wealthy

people

are neither happy nor

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

poor

one

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

unhappy.Criteria of satisfaction can be different in each

circumstancies

Correct your spelling

circumstances

circumstance

and I believe that

money

is not connected to feeling ecstatic.

Submitted by nilanbarzadeh on Wed Oct 19 2022

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Your opinion

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If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
65Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

330 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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ome people believe that money is the most important factor for achieving happiness. However, others believe that happiness has nothing to do with money. what is your opinion?

Your opinion

Most people would agree that Generation X, people bom between 1997 and 2007, are more dishonnest than previout generation .Why is this? is this positive or negative development for society.

Today more an more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult such as the sahara desert or the antartic. what are the benefits and disadvantages for tourist to visit such places?

Working from home benefits workers and not employers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugars which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that school children should not be given homework by their teachers, whereas others argue that homework plays an important role in the education of children. Discuss both of these views and give your own opinion.