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Band 5

The number of people using bikes as main trasport mode is decreasing. Why this is so ?

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There is a rapid reduction in the
quantity
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of individuals who are using bicycles by way of conveyance aspect. According to my perception,
this
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 is occurred because of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
modern technology .
This
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 system makes everything electronic. On the right hand , there is
also
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 the fault of people. Laziness is a weak point of people .
Hence
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 , they want everything to be straightforward. Take
for example
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 my best mate.
Although
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 he is good-natured he is so lazy and because of
this
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quality
Add a comma
,quality
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 he became fat . Approximately three years ago when we are together went to the bike shop, there
instead
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 of a conventional mechanical bicycle, he chose an electronic one which
is only rides
Change the verb form
is only riding
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 on electric charging. Before that I said , it could not be a benefit for
your
Correct pronoun usage
his
show examples
 physical health but he did not listen to me and bought that .
Therefore
Linking Words
, now he has some diseases about health .
On the other hand
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 ,
this
Linking Words
 impediment could be solved by the government . Cycling competitions out to be arranged for the public. After that they all might be interested in
and
Correct pronoun usage
it and
show examples
also
Linking Words
 they may prepare for
this
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 competition and there could be
such
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 rivalry among them . Even though it may be difficult it can work. In conclusion, many humans prefer to ride a bike because they know
its
Correct your spelling
it's
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 plus for their body and as well as health but others
so
Correct your spelling
do
show examples
 not do
this
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 , they have to fight
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their laziness and
then
Linking Words
 they can strive for the best.

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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