IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

There is growing evidence that man-made activities are making global temperatures higher. What might be the man-made causes of temperatures rising? How should we deal with this problem? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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In the modern world, it is undeniable that global temperatures are rising
due to
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 human activities.
This
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 issue has become a major environmental concern with serious long-term consequences. In
this
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 essay, an attempt will be made to examine the man-made causes of
this
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 problem and suggest possible solutions. One of the most apparent causes is the excessive emission of greenhouse gases. To illustrate, industries, transportation, and
energy
Use synonyms
 production rely heavily on fossil fuels
such
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 as coal, oil, and gas, which release carbon dioxide into the atmosphere.
For instance
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, the increasing number of vehicles on the road contributes significantly to air pollution and global warming.
In addition
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, deforestation is another major factor, as cutting down trees reduces the planet’s ability to absorb carbon dioxide.
As a result
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, the balance of the natural environment is disrupted, leading to higher global temperatures. The main solution that should not be overlooked is that governments and individuals must work together to reduce environmental impact. To clarify, governments can introduce stricter regulations on emissions and promote the use of renewable
energy
Use synonyms
 sources
such
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 as solar and wind power.
For example
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, investing in public transport and encouraging electric vehicles can reduce dependence on fossil fuels.
Furthermore
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, individuals can contribute by conserving
energy
Use synonyms
, reducing waste, and supporting environmentally friendly practices.
In addition
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, reforestation programmes can help restore natural ecosystems and absorb excess carbon dioxide. To recapitulate, it is evident that global warming is mainly caused by greenhouse gas emissions and deforestation,
while
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 effective solutions include regulation, renewable
energy
Use synonyms
, and individual action.
Therefore
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, a combined effort from governments and society is essential to tackle
this
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 global challenge and protect the environment for future generations.

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task response
Add one more clear example to make your ideas stronger.
task response
Explain a bit more how each solution can help lower heat.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words with care so the flow stays natural.
coherence and cohesion
Some lines are a little formal and fixed. Try more simple direct sentences.
task response
You answered both parts of the task clearly.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, middle, and end.
coherence and cohesion
Each body paragraph stays on one main idea.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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