IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 8.5

2) The government should sometimes infringe on people’s freedom for the secutity of society. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement

#government #people’s #freedom #secutity #society
The government's infringement on citizens' liberty has long been a matter of debate. A considerable number of vocal opponents claim that their autonomation is seriously invaded. I ;
however
 believe that
this
 invasion is necessary for the sake of society's security
To begin
 with, measures should be taken to prevent potential risks from hurting citizens. It is undoubted that security check at airports is essential to find dangerous articles threatening aeroplane passengers
such
 as toxic liquids, explosives and blades. Without a clearance scan, aeroplane passengers are obviously under threat by terrorists or villainous guys when they can bring bombs or knives and threaten others.
In addition
, surveillance cameras are installed outside only for justifiable reasons.
This
 technological equipment helps the police identify the suspects in many criminal cases as well as find and rescue the victims promptly, not for private issues. Some opponents claim that even if independence is violated, the criminal rate is still high and seems to become growing up.
Nevertheless
, I suppose that the number of criminals would be much higher if little measures are carried out. It is undebated that street gangs would consider twice before breaking the law under a surveillance camera which is watching them. I
also
 do believe that people only have their liberty if they are kept safe. Those who are under unsecured conditions seem hardly feel free when they are preoccupied with threats.
In other words
, being interfered with sometimes is a pay-off exchange for safety and autonomy in turn. In conclusion, I firmly agree that the government should take action for the safety of society even if they are sometimes not welcomed by the citizens who have an incorrect perspective on
this
.
Submitted by dothiha93 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: