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Band 4.5

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#governments #progress #people #country
The quality of
country
Correct article usage
a country
show examples
determine
Change the verb form
determines
show examples
 across
country's
Correct article usage
the country's
show examples
 systems
such
 as education,
economic
Replace the word
economy
show examples
, health care and sports.
Furthermore
, each of these systems
combined
Add a missing verb
is combined
show examples
 together.
However
, some
people
 think
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 should be attended to develop
economic
Correct article usage
an economic
show examples
 system while others think it should
be progress
Change the verb form
progress
show examples
all
Change preposition
of all
show examples
 types. The ensure paragraphs of
this
 essay will discuss
about
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
both of
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 opinions. Economical success
improve
Correct subject-verb agreement
improves
show examples
 the advancement of
country
Add an article
the country
show examples
, it determines
country's
Correct article usage
a country's
show examples
 developmental level
such
 as development, non-development and developed
country
. With
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
globalization,
people
 have to keep relationships over the world. Some ingredients are imported from other countries,
as
Change preposition
for
show examples
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
example, rice, dhal and electrical items. If have more dollars, can
imported
Wrong verb form
import
show examples
 raw- materials
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
enough. The other reason is
advancement
Add an article
the advancement
an advancement
show examples
 of
intrastructures
Correct your spelling
infrastructures
infrastructure
. To supply perfect facilities, required a lot of money.
As
Change preposition
For
show examples
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
instance,
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
electricity, water and sanitary facilities can supply to every
people
 within equal, if have enough wealth. Every
fields
Change to a singular noun
field
show examples
 effect to success of
nation
Add an article
the nation
a nation
show examples
. Without
good
Add an article
a good
show examples
 education, there will not
Add a missing verb
be a
show examples
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 intelligent ruler. As well as, educated
people
 earn money
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 their nation as foreign employees. The other one is
strength
Correct article usage
the strength
show examples
 health care system. As an example, with the corona epidemic, some high economical countries got down due to
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of health care
system
Fix the agreement mistake
systems
show examples
 like
Indea
Correct your spelling
India
. With the improvement of all fields,
nation
Add an article
a nation
the nation
show examples
 can bright among other countries as a star.
As
Change preposition
For
show examples
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
instance, with the success of sports, can brand
county's
Correct article usage
a county's
show examples
Correct your spelling
name in
namein
Correct your spelling
name in
 the world across competitions
such
 as
Olympic
Fix the agreement mistake
Olympics
show examples
, world cup. In the conclusion,
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
strength
Replace the word
strong
show examples
 economy
cause
Change the verb form
causes
show examples
 to destroy poverty.
However
, the
progressing
Replace the word
progress
show examples
 of all types of systems
related
Add a missing verb
is related
show examples
 to
increase
Change the verb form
increasing
show examples
quality
Add an article
the quality
show examples
 of
country
Add an article
the country
show examples
. Personally, I believe
progressing
Replace the word
progress
show examples
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 all fields
better
Add a missing verb
is better
show examples
 than
progress
Add an article
the progress
show examples
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 one field.
Submitted by chathuminiperera5 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • standard of living
  • sustainable development
  • social equality
  • environmental degradation
  • cultural heritage
  • technological innovation
  • wealth disparity
  • human development index
  • holistic approach
  • quality of life
  • economic prosperity
  • healthcare system
  • education system
  • cultural diversity
  • policy decisions
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