IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Junk food advertising has a harmful effect on society and should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#junk #food #effect #society
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Recent decades have witnessed an ever-increasing number of parents disallowing their offspring to eat fast
food
Use synonyms
,
such
Linking Words
 as french fries and hamburgers, owing to the fact that junk
food
Use synonyms
 could lead to severe health problems. In
this
Linking Words
 sense, I am inclined to agree that the advertisements made by fast
food
Use synonyms
 restaurants ought to be prohibited.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, it is axiomatic that plenty of sodium, sugar and oil are added to fast
food
Use synonyms
, and these ingredients could result in high blood pressure, obesity and heart disease. Notwithstanding the fact that advertising does not attribute to these hazardous health issues, it appeals to a staggering number of individuals to intake unhealthy cuisine on a daily basis. Apparently, advertising stimulates people's expenditure on a particular product. To exemplify, the University of Hong Kong conducted
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
research concerning individuals' spending and the impacts of watching TV commercials regularly. In the research, over 90% of interviewees expended more than expected after watching TV commercials. The advertisements,
consequently
Linking Words
, pose an imminent threat to people's well-being.
Moreover
Linking Words
, numerous scientists condemn those well-known fast meal restaurants for adding excessive additives to burgers which are perilous to children's brain development.
For instance
Linking Words
, they contended that if children are provided with junk
food
Use synonyms
 more than 3 times a week, their cognitive development will be 50% slower than children with healthful eating habits. Resultantly, parents ought to refrain the
next
Linking Words
 generation from viewing advertisements in relation to fast
food
Use synonyms
 stores. To summarise, fundamental to the devastating health threats associated with junk
food
Use synonyms
, I largely agree that fast
food
Use synonyms
 advertising should be banned by law. Governments are accountable for the legislation to prevent their citizens from eating too much unhealthful
food
Use synonyms
, too.
Submitted by yttsui5 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: