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Writing Samples
Band 7

it is important for people to take risks in both their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risk outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #risks #lives #risk
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Many believe that taking
risks
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 in personal and professional lives is crucial. I strongly believe that any disadvantages to
such
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risks
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 are completely overwhelmed by the advantages.
Although
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 there are disadvantages to risk-taking at work and home, they are limited.
Firstly
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, taking
risks
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 in a professional environment cannot only lead to making bad decisions but
also
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 severe consequences, which would probably adversely affect income. Buying less expensive components,
for example
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, could lead to a production line continuously breaking down, seriously affecting output. A similar case is often evident in the home, where a seemingly simple
life
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 decision can lead to a ruined relationship and a broken family. If more care is taken to make decisions,
however
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, the results could be significantly different. The advantages of risk-taking are many,
however
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, with the two main ones being more income and a more fulfilling
life
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. Taking carefully calculated professional
risks
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 positively impacts income and promotion in most cases,
whereas
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 some even take a
further
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 step and start their own business. Incredible gains would be possible if a financial officer persuaded the board to invest the company’s profits in the markets,
for instance
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, resulting in him being compensated proportionally. Some people lead their lives with their perfect
life
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 partner
due to
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 risking their previous relationship, with the result being more important than any upheaval caused.
As a result
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, those who do not take
risks
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such
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 as these often find their progress through
life
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 slow and unsatisfactory, leading to other problems. In conclusion,
although
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 there are disadvantages regarding financial
risks
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 in the workplace and emotional distress at home, any advantages completely outweigh them as care is taken in the decision process.
Submitted by nbhartu on

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Content
Try to provide clear and more specific examples to support your main points.
Structure
Ensure that ideas and points are fully developed and linked, as some points seem to require further explanation or expansion.
Language
Consider using a wider range of structures and vocabulary to fully express your ideas.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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