Many doctors recommend that older people exercise regularly, but most patients do not follow an exercise routine. Why do you think this happens? How can people be encouraged to exercise regularly?

#doctors #people #exercise #patients

Health is paramount, irrespective of an individual's age, gender, or origin and so, healthcare experts always stress its significance in daily routine. Regardless, many healthcare professionals find that older

people

do not heed their advice concerning

exercise

. In my opinion,

this

due to

practical concerns, and the best encouragement would be through government initiatives. I shall be expanding on

this

perception in the following paragraphs. One of the reasons behind senior citizens staying unfit could be physical and economic issues.

Firstly

, older

people

naturally suffer from minor or major

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

debilitating conditions

such

as poor cardiovascular health, arthritis, and dementia. Each presents unique challenges to a regular workout routine.

Moreover

, older

people

are often unable to afford the costs associated with learning a new sport or joining a gym. In the United States, most older

people

survive on a fixed income and must set aside money for medical bills.

Therefore

, sports equipment does not find its position on their priority list. There is little that can be done to deter the natural ageing process, but the financial impediments can be effectively tackled by building more public parks and facilities. An older person living in an urban area may lack easy access to a park or the transportation to travel to one far away.

However

, if there were one within walking distance, they would be encouraged to

exercise

habitually. Social interactions could

also

reinforce

this

habit. Many older

people

are lonely and seek companions from their generation.

As a result

, by making friends and regularly meeting to walk to

exercise

in the park, as is common in many East Asian nations, they can create lasting bonds that encourage them to stay fit. In conclusion, many older

people

are physically or economically unable to

exercise

regularly, and

this

can be partly remedied with more significant investment in public spaces. The benefits of

such

a reform would impact other segments of the population.

Submitted by zavkidm on Sat Dec 30 2023

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coherence cohesion

While your essay presents a coherent structure, it would benefit from clearer topic sentences that directly respond to the questions posed. Make sure each paragraph begins with a clear statement reflecting on the reasons why older people might not exercise and the methods to encourage them.

task achievement

Though your essay includes relevant examples and ideas, strengthen it by embedding more specific examples rather than general statements. For example, instead of mentioning 'many East Asian nations', reference a specific program or statistic to illustrate effectiveness.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

321 words

7.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Many doctors recommend that older people exercise regularly, but most patients do not follow an exercise routine. Why do you think this happens? How can people be encouraged to exercise regularly?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

In the modern world, it is no longer necessary to use animals as food or other products, such as medicines and clothing. Do you agree or disagree?

Many people aspire to a balance between work and other parts of their lives, but few achieve it. What are the problems in trying to achieve this and how can these problems be overcome?

People have different job expectations for jobs. Some people prefer to do the same job for the same company, whereas others prefer to change jobs frequently. Write about the advantages and disadvantages of each viewpoint?