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Band 6.5

Some people think personal happiness is closely related to economic success, while others believe that it depends on other factors. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #happiness #success #factors
In modern society,
money
 has never been insignificant among individuals. While some
people
 argue that high wages are strongly linked with living a successful
life
, others maintain that there are other essential sectors that aid in boosting happiness. In my opinion, I am convinced that it is the exorbitant
money
that is
 influential in meeting their needs in both their health and educational perspective. On the one hand, several
people
 contend that the level of their job satisfaction contributes the most to uplifting their happiness. Even though the salary is low, when
people
 work in the field in which they had been keen to work, they can at least be far from being stressed. As high level of stress has a devastating impact on their human health,
thus
 they can live a better
life
 than those who are stressed in the workplace to get fat paid.
On the other hand
, others consider
money
 as the key method to living a better
life
. Undoubtedly, things that can content
people
,
such
 as enjoying various leisure and purchasing luxury items, can only be enjoyed by
people
 who can afford them. What it means is that
people
 who do not have enough
money
 cannot enjoy
such
 perks,
thus
,
people
 consider
money
 the most crucial method. In my personal view, I believe that
money
 can aid
people
 in becoming healthier and becoming intelligent, which hugely contribute to their
life
 quality. To be specific, healthy cuisines and private tutoring from professional teachers are by no means cheap, which means that
people
 who are only satisfied with their career getting small pay cannot live happier than those who have enough
money
 to afford
such
 extra options. In conclusion,
although
 career satisfaction is one of the key methods to live a happy
life
, I am firm of the opinion that as happiness has a strong connection between health and
people
's capability, how much they are succeeded in their economy is the most essential part to live happily as everything requires
money
.
Submitted by clara_you on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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