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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people think that government is responsible for the rise in obesity in children. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #government #rise #obesity #children
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In
this
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 day and age
obesity
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 became a health problem for the entire society, including
children
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 as well. Some people believe that the responsibility for the increase in the number of
children
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 overweight need to be taken by the
government
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. I partially agree with
this
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 idea, and in
this
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 essay, I will argue that
besides
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 the
government
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's responsibility there are responsibilities for parents, teachers, and the health care system. The
government
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 has a paramount role in adjusting the criteria regarding the health life rules, quality of food, and improving the active life in the country. Like, as restricting harmful products, or bad habitats through implementing laws, decisions, rules, and other official recommendations.
However
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, without state control and regulation, people will choose the easiest way for lifestyle not mandatory the correct one.
First
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 of all, every person individually is directly, and indirectly involved in their lifestyle and their
children
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 as well.
For example
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, parents should take care of their
children
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's menus, schedules, and activities in the order to avoid the kid's
obesity
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.
Second
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 of all, other actors,
such
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 as teachers and doctors need to include in kids' curricula adequate information concerning healthy eating, respecting meals, and consuming vitamins and fresh fruit and vegetables.
Finally
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, it is significantly important that
children
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 are taught in schools about the meaning of
obesity
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 and its bad consequences. In conclusion, the entire society is responsible for the rise in
obesity
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, but the
government
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 has a major role in framing the proper conditions and implementing a high standard of life level.
Submitted by avoalbu on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • policies
  • responsibility
  • health and well-being
  • education and awareness programs
  • childhood obesity
  • food advertising and labeling
  • unhealthy food
  • supportive environments
  • recreational facilities
  • collaboration
  • healthcare providers
What to do next:
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