It is common for each member of family to have their own piece of modern technology. Some people think this will lead them to break down of family relationships and communication. To what extent do you agree?
The importance of having one own piece of modern
technology
for each family member which was always debatable has now become more controversial with many people
claiming that it is causing the breakdown of the family while
others reject this
notion. I partially agree with the statement because usage of technology
has no demerits but over-usage and misuse can break the family.
Analyzing the statement and explaining further
, the first and foremost reason behind this
is that each member has an individual piece of technology
used continuously for long hours which breaks the communication between family members. Another striking reason in this
regard is that a person starts seeping into the virtual world, and this
leads to the breakdown of the family.
Explaining further
, modern piece of technology
is a positive sign of growth as it develops international relations and provides global vision to the people
. Moving further
, it is pertinent to mention that it is a tool which connects people
all over the world. For instance
, a smartphone with uncountable apps is a source of information and entertainment. So negatives only crop up with over-indulgence and misuse otherwise
it has no drawbacks.
To recapitulate, according to
the arguments aforementioned above, one can reach the conclusion that technology
is the backbone for the progress of the country. Moreover
, the balance should be maintained to keep the family relationships sustainable. Excess use of everything is hazardous and so is in the case of technology
. Otherwise
, it is made to benefit society and provide a comfortable lifestyle to the people
.Submitted by jagdeepsingh3699 on
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Introduction Clarity
Ensure that the introduction clearly states your position on the topic. Although you have introduced the topic, you could enhance clarity by explicitly stating whether you fully, partially, or do not agree with the given statement.
Logical Structure
Your essay lacks a clear logical structure which makes it difficult to follow the progression of ideas. Consider using more precise topic sentences and clear transitions to guide the reader through your arguments.
Supporting Examples
The main points you present need to be more thoroughly supported with specific examples. While you mention the potential negative consequences of technology, providing concrete examples would considerably strengthen your position.
Task Balance
While you address the topic, your essay would benefit from a more balanced discussion of both sides. Consider exploring the opposing viewpoint in greater detail to provide a more comprehensive response.
Conclusion Effectiveness
Your conclusion should summarily address the main points discussed in the essay and restate your position. Ensure that your conclusion draws your essay to a close without introducing new information.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.