Violence in the media promote violence in society. To what extent do you agree?

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Media and tv play a significant role in the formation of teenagers' personalities.

Movies

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and documentaries in which many violent scents are watched by the audience leave an irreversible effect on them. I agree with

this

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statement to some extent.

Firstly

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, violent

movies

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and videos may incite teenagers to commit criminal

offenses

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offences

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. It means that when they witness a variety of violent forms every day it is not surprising that aggression and other types of violent

behaviors

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behaviours

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become unconsciously developed.

Secondly

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, it has been proven that there is a direct connection between watching violent

movies

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and physical aggression against another person.

For example

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, youngsters’ tendency to participate in martial class after watching action films is considerably strengthened. So, it is an undeniable fact that programs that children watch can promote anti-social conduct

such

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as aggression or disobedience in them. On one hand, there are quite a lot of scarcities including poverty and unemployment all around the world which can lead to an increasing rate of criminal activities. To explain more, crime could be a harmful consequence of individuals' unsolved financial problems, people who live in unprivileged families and attending criminal

offenses

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offences

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is the only solution for them.

On the other hand

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, media violence has a great influence on our thinking and emotion than on our

behavior

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behaviour

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. Take the

last

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criminal and action movie that you watched as an example if the movie was satisfying and absorbing with unpredictable plots you might ponder about it for a few days, whereas you have never decided to practice them in the real world. To conclude,

although

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watching thriller

movies

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are amusing and there are more important issues in the world that should be considered before the impact of

movies

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on children, it would be better if teenagers are structured by their parents to watch these

movies

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in a balanced way.

Submitted by m_faramin on Sun Oct 23 2022

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8
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

307 words

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