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Band 4

In many countries, governments spemd large amounts of money on the arts and this is supported by some taxpayers as worthwhile. Others, however think that this money would be better spent on health and education. To what extent do you agree or disagree with these opinions? Discuss, based on your knowledge and experience.

#countries #governments #spemd #amounts #money #arts #taxpayers #health #education
In the current world, governments of some countries are spending huge tolls of currency on creative works.
Although
,
well
Correct article usage
a well
show examples
 of communities are in support of
such
act
Fix the agreement mistake
acts
show examples
 of the authority, most people are
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the opposite side and according to
them
Add a comma
,them
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 more money should be invested
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the development of health and educational
facilities
Correct your spelling
instead
insted
Correct your spelling
instead
 of arts.
Personally
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,Personally
show examples
i
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I
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 am in the favour of latter and in the subsequent
paragraphs
Add a comma
,paragraphs
show examples
i
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I
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 will be describing the reasons for taking the side.
To begin
 with, creativity is something that people may admire after all their basic needs are fulfilled while most
of
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apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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countries fail to provide all the basic necessities evenly to all their citizens. Despite
Correct determiner usage
this
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the
Correct your spelling
this
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 fact, many government
intent
Change to a plural noun
intents
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 to provide
huge
Correct article usage
a huge
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budget
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budgets
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on
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for
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 recreational
facilities
 in order to get higher revenue since well of people are most likely to spend on amusement at
high
Add an article
a high
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 cost. But as an administrative body, they should focus on
even
Correct article usage
the even
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 distribution of
facilities
 and make
greater
Add an article
a greater
the greater
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investment
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investments
show examples
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the development of quality education and improved hospitals for all as it is their basic right as
Add an article
a citizen
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citizen
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citizens
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. Another thing to add up is that when the govt
provide
Correct subject-verb agreement
provides
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 more emphasis on amusement over education or health there is a huge possibility to decrease the overall growth of that particular country which may lead to
crisis
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a crisis
the crisis
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 in
furtherhand
Correct your spelling
further hand
further and
.
For example
, improper medical
facilities
 may result in
disease
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a disease
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outbreak
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outbreaks
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 or
lack
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a lack
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 of educational
Correct your spelling
facilities
facilites
Correct your spelling
facilities
 may lead to unemployment
problem
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problems
show examples
Change preposition
on at
show examples
at
Correct your spelling
a
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larger
Add an article
a larger
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 scale. Overall,
Add an article
the government
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government
Fix the agreement mistake
governments
show examples
 of all countries should make a balanced budget so that creativity gets attention after meeting the needs of
health
Correct article usage
the health
show examples
 and educational sectors.
Submitted by barson.mithun392 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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