Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and gives your own opinion

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In our daily activities,
people
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sometimes have a different perspective to each other. Some
people
Use synonyms
believe it is a good thing to compete with other
people
Use synonyms
,
while
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others argue it is better to collaborate. I contend that we need to work together
instead
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of competing with each other.
This
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essay will explore both points of view and address my conclusion about the statement. On the one hand, the benefit of working together is spending less time to finish the job.
For example
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, if someone has a task for creating a website, they can split the errand for backend and frontend.
This
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is an efficient way to complete the job in a short time. Managing
people
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to have different responsibilities may be a hard thing to do, but it is worth the effort.
Thus
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, encouraging citizens to collaborate affected the good results.
On the other hand
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, competing with another person could lead to a conflict between them.
For instance
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, in school, a teacher exerts homework on to students create a presentation,
instead
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of distributing the task each of them made the presentation by themselves, and
at the end
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of the
day
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day,
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they argued about which slides they would use. Sadly, a situation like that could boost egocentrism for each pupil.
Therefore
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, racing with other
people
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is not a good solution for society. In conclusion, the two sides of the argument about relationships in everyday work have strong support.
However
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, after discussing both sides,
it is clear that
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I undoubtedly support collaboration against each other. Collaborating provides benefits that can make
people
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spend less time to finish the job.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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task achievement
Strengthen the examples by adding more specific details to make them more compelling. For instance, the website example could describe what happens in real workplace scenarios.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear, single focus and that each sentence logically follows from the one before it. Your points are good but can be better linked for smooth transition.
coherence cohesion
The essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion, summarizing the discussion effectively.
task achievement
You present a balanced discussion by considering both viewpoints, and provide logical reasons for your own opinion.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • innovation
  • productivity
  • excel
  • outperform
  • advancements
  • academic standards
  • work ethic
  • stress
  • anxiety
  • unhealthy rivalries
  • harmonious
  • supportive
  • collaborative learning
  • social skills
  • communication skills
  • sense of community
  • collective goals
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