Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and gives your own opinion
In our daily activities,
people
sometimes have a different perspective to each other. Some Use synonyms
people
believe it is a good thing to compete with other Use synonyms
people
, Use synonyms
while
others argue it is better to collaborate. I contend that we need to work together Linking Words
instead
of competing with each other. Linking Words
This
essay will explore both points of view and address my conclusion about the statement.
On the one hand, the benefit of working together is spending less time to finish the job. Linking Words
For example
, if someone has a task for creating a website, they can split the errand for backend and frontend. Linking Words
This
is an efficient way to complete the job in a short time. Managing Linking Words
people
to have different responsibilities may be a hard thing to do, but it is worth the effort. Use synonyms
Thus
, encouraging citizens to collaborate affected the good results.
Linking Words
On the other hand
, competing with another person could lead to a conflict between them. Linking Words
For instance
, in school, a teacher exerts homework on to students create a presentation, Linking Words
instead
of distributing the task each of them made the presentation by themselves, and Linking Words
at the end
of the Linking Words
day
they argued about which slides they would use. Sadly, a situation like that could boost egocentrism for each pupil. Add a comma
day,
Therefore
, racing with other Linking Words
people
is not a good solution for society.
In conclusion, the two sides of the argument about relationships in everyday work have strong support. Use synonyms
However
, after discussing both sides, Linking Words
it is clear that
I undoubtedly support collaboration against each other. Collaborating provides benefits that can make Linking Words
people
spend less time to finish the job.Use synonyms
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Strengthen the examples by adding more specific details to make them more compelling. For instance, the website example could describe what happens in real workplace scenarios.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear, single focus and that each sentence logically follows from the one before it. Your points are good but can be better linked for smooth transition.
coherence cohesion
The essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion, summarizing the discussion effectively.
task achievement
You present a balanced discussion by considering both viewpoints, and provide logical reasons for your own opinion.