These days, more and more people are going to other countries for significant periods of time, either to find a job or to study. There are clearly many benefits to doing this, but people who live abroad can also face some difficulties.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In our modern society, people often tend to go to another
country
that can help them have many chances for their studies or careers.
Although
this
certainly brings them many advantages,
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
show examples
besides
, they are
also
confronted with many missions and challenges and in
this
essay, I will clarify the views on
this
issue. There are some benefits from going to a foreign
country
that bring many profits to themselves.
First,
when coming to an entirely different environment, we will have some occasions to explore and understand the lifestyle and customs of local people. By joining some festivals, we can
expose
Wrong verb form
be exposed
show examples
to many different cultures and interact with both local and international friends.
Second,
through
this
opportunity, every individual can improve their language levels and their communication skills that assist them during their studies or jobs.
Third,
when they have to integrate into
this
new environment, they should train themselves in many personalities
such
as independence, confidence, patience and discipline. They should be in a status
that is
always willing to learn new knowledge.
Finally
, they will update many soft skills involving critical thinking or basic communication and academic skills including many certificates or diplomas.
However
, it will survive some drawbacks that prevent us from working and studying. The first disadvantage must be finance.
Due to
the significant increase in the cost involving the daily fee and tuition fee, they have to pay the amount of money per month for many bills
such
as water, gas, electricity and groceries. The spending for the study materials and dorm
also
causes a burden for international students. The second one will be homesickness. Because they have to live in another
country
and do not have many relatives,
this
can cause worry and stress and they cannot pay attention to their work or studies which leads to their bad performance. The final problem will be health. Because when coming to another
country
, we will lose the amount of time that we can catch up with the changes of weather and temperature. In conclusion, going to a foreign
country
to live and work is not an easy thing with everyone because we must overcome many difficult missions.
Thus
, we should consider carefully before making a choice to leave our countries.
Submitted by vuhien4397 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction
Provide a clear thesis statement in your introduction, outlining the specific advantages and challenges you will discuss.
Coherence
Use a range of cohesive devices and transition words to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs.
Support
Develop your main points with specific examples to illustrate the benefits and challenges more vividly.
Conclusion
Ensure your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points of the essay without introducing new information.
Task Response
Address the prompt fully by expanding on how individuals can deal with the challenges mentioned.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: