Some people think that schools have to be more entertaining, while others think that their sole purpose is to educate. Which do you agree with? Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

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Some individuals

argued

Wrong verb form

argue

show examples

that colleges should be entertaining whilst others say that the main and only goal of schools is to teach.I agree with the statement

Change preposition

that

show examples

institutes have to have conditions to realize their leisure time activities to some extent.

Above all

Linking Words

,it is irrefutable that the first aim of schools is to educate

students

Use synonyms

However

Linking Words

,when children do only their studies,

this

Linking Words

may be boring for them

therefore

Linking Words

sometimes it is needed to allocate time so as to do free activities.

This

Linking Words

is simply because it helps

students

Use synonyms

in order to get rid of school stresses,by doing

this

Linking Words

they will have a chance to be more productive because pastime paves the way to recharge their batteries.One explanation for

this

Linking Words

according to

Linking Words

Sweden scientists

practice

Verb problem

is that

show examples

when the institute provides learners with entertaining exercise,they can easily absorb their studies.

Hence

Linking Words

,authorities ought to take into consideration

this

Linking Words

issue.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, another advantage of entertainment at the campus is giving the opportunity to improve not only interaction ability but

also

Linking Words

teamwork because when children come together in order to play sports

such

Linking Words

as football and volleyball or do some enjoyable activities,they learn how they attain a target together.

In other words

Linking Words

,they experience becoming united.To exemplify my opinion,in some Asian countries

such

Linking Words

as China and South Korea sports competitions are held among

students

Use synonyms

so as to enhance their working skills in the form of groups.

This

Linking Words

is why it is necessary to clear the way for

students

Use synonyms

to be engaged in things that they want.

To conclude

Linking Words

although

Linking Words

some people think that the sole goal of schools is to educate,from my personal view they have to be more entertaining because of the aforementioned factors.

Submitted by malikli.malik1995 on Mon Oct 24 2022

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph contributes clearly to the overall argument and maintains a logical sequence of ideas. Use transition words and phrases to connect ideas more effectively. Improve the introduction and conclusion to clearly present and summarize the main points.

task response

Make sure to fully address the prompt and provide a clear stance on the issue. Also, develop the ideas more thoroughly and use specific examples to support the points made.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

270 words

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Some people think that schools have to be more entertaining, while others think that their sole purpose is to educate. Which do you agree with? Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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AI technology are increasingly being used for online education. Can artificial intelligence enhance the learning experience? Is this a positive or negative development?

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Everybody should become a vegetarian because eating meat can cause serious health problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?