IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people think that the best way to improve road safety is to increase the minimum legal age for driving a car or motorbike. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Several individuals believe that raising the minimum legal
age
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 to drive a car or motorbike is the best way to enhance benign
roads
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. Personally, I partly agree with
this
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 statement because of some major reasons which I shall explain in more detail in
this
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 essay. On the one hand, Setting a higher minimum legal
age
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 for driving
cars
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 or
motorbikes
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 is considered an effective solution to enhance road safety because
this
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 will reduce the number of transportation flows on the
roads
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.
Moreover
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, younger drivers
such
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 as teenagers who are usually impetuous temperament and want to prove themselves can easily have traffic violations.
For example
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, the Ministry of Transport in Vietnam has reported that the highest proportion of traffic accidents in Vietnam annually has resulted from younger people from 17 to 19 years old, accounting for about 70 to 73% of the total.
It is clear that
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, if these adolescents are prevented from driving
cars
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 or
motorbikes
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, the likelihood of safety on the
roads
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 will grow.
On the other hand
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, some say that many reasons lead to unsafe
roads
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such
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 as drunk driving, crime, insufficient awareness of transport users, and so on. If the government only changes the minimum legal driving
age
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 for
cars
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 and
motorbikes
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 to a higher
age
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,
roads
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 will still be unsafe because of the above issues.
Therefore
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, the minimum legal
age
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 for driving a car or motorbike increases is one of the effective ways not the best way to keep the safety on
roads
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. In conclusion, I believe that elevating the minimum
age
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 for obtaining a legal driving license for
cars
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 and
motorbikes
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 is one of the effective solutions , not the best solution to keep security on the
roads
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 because the unsafety on
roads
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 causes many different reasons
such
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 as drunk driving and so on not only legal
age
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 for driving a car or motorbike.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure clarity in topic sentences to improve reader guidance, e.g., starting a paragraph with a general statement about your main point before entering into examples.
coherence cohesion
Avoid repeating similar phrases or ideas. Instead, introduce varied vocabulary and new perspectives to maintain reader interest.
coherence cohesion
Work on sentence structure to improve your essay's flow. Vary sentence length and structure to enhance readability and engagement.
task achievement
Make sure to provide a clear thesis statement in your introduction that outlines your main argument concisely.
task achievement
The essay effectively provides examples and references, strengthening the argument.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion succinctly summarizes your argument, reinforcing the main thesis and key points.
task achievement
The essay displays a good understanding of the topic with relevant explanation and examples.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • minimum legal age
  • road safety
  • cognitive skills
  • decision-making abilities
  • comprehensive driver education
  • unlicensed driving
  • economic implications
  • mobility
  • stricter enforcement
  • traffic laws
  • driver education
  • road accidents
  • mature and responsible
  • illegal driving
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