IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Advanced technology has brough many beneficial changes to the world. However, some old people today struggle with the use of technologies such as mobile phones or the internet. How can the elderly benefit from using advanced technologies?

#technology #brough #changes #world #people #struggle #technologies #phones #internet #benefit
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
While it is true that thanks to modern
technology
Use synonyms
, civilization has benefited throughout the years,
nevertheless
Linking Words
 there are certain difficulties when using modern
technology
Use synonyms
 spread across the elderly population. I do have the conviction that the elderly population will obtain multiple benefits from
technology
Use synonyms
 and they will probably feel more integrated.
This
Linking Words
 essay will explore some of these benefits that could improve the elderly population´s life To start with, it is generally accepted that thanks to the internet and mobile phones, communication nowadays is more feasible than fifty years ago.
This
Linking Words
 is owing to the worldwide internet network and the extended use of mobile phones over the entire society, in which elderly people are included. One clear example of
this
Linking Words
 benefit could be seen in the retirement homes which currently are provided with the newest
technology
Use synonyms
 as their users will take advantage of them
for example
Linking Words
, to keep in contact with their relatives and family. Another argument put forward by modern
technology
Use synonyms
 is that it could prevent future accidents.
This
Linking Words
 is due to certain applications which are configured to detect changes in body trends. If the dispositive detects abnormal variations in,
for instance
Linking Words
, heart frequency rates, it automatically will call the ambulance.
This
Linking Words
 advance might play an important role in those people who spend their major time alone. To conclude, there are a bunch of reasons our grandparents will benefit from the latest technologies. Beginning with the improvement of family communication and culminating with the prevention of accidents. The truth is that most of our grandparents still figure out how to perform with these technologies. At
this
Linking Words
 point, it is fair to say
that is
Linking Words
 our responsibility to guide them across
this
Linking Words
 rewarded field. As far as I know, if we were in their position, we would like to receive the same instruction
Submitted by melisa.siverio on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: