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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do yoy think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages ?

#people #risks #lives #yoy
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It is crucial for individuals to take
risks
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 in their career and personal
life
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 . In my opinion the benefits of taking
risks
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 over the drawbacks for some reasons ,
however
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 being cautious and careful must be taken into consideration.
To begin
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 with , the key feature of taking
risks
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 in individual
life
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 is the enormous number of experiences that add value in your
life
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 in terms of work or personal
life
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 a good example of
this
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 is , the majority of entrepreneurs becoming successful because when they approach a risky opportunity they find it a great step to move forward even though they know how risky it is but
also
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 they believe they can not change their position if they remain in the same condition . Regarding personal lives like moving to a new country or changing workplace ,
this
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 might be a significant stage in
people
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's lives even if it is challenging in the beginning .
On the other hand
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 , it should not be overlooked that caution is needed , I believe that
risks
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 in our lives can shift many things but knowing your potential and uncertain puts
people
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 in the safe zone because reckless or rushed decisions can cause dangerous situations
such
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 as , bankrupting and miserable
life
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 ,on the other words making a decision under stress circumstances, can lead to the collapse your
life
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 ,
for instance
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, high rates of
people
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 lost their money in the stock market for different reasons one of them unplanned strong perspective.
To sum up
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 , adventure tasks make
people
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 grow up quickly with a number of goals achievement ,
therefore
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 I believe taking a risk is essential to improve your
life
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 whether personal or career job . But with a high awareness of the consequences
Submitted by rwnalanezi on

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content
The essay provides a clear stance on the topic, recognizing both the benefits and the need for caution when taking risks. However, expanding more on specific examples and ideas could strengthen the argument further.
structure
Ensure smooth transitions between ideas for improved coherence. Using transition words more effectively can enhance the flow of the essay.
language
Review grammatical errors such as missing articles and preposition use. Also, ensure consistency in tense and subject-verb agreement to improve overall clarity.
content
The introduction clearly outlines the importance of risk-taking and sets the stage for discussing both sides of the argument.
structure
The essay ends with a logical conclusion summarizing the key points discussed, emphasizing the necessity of risk-taking despite potential consequences.
examples
Examples provided, such as entrepreneurship and moving countries, help illustrate the argument about benefits associated with taking risks.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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