Some feel that individuals should try to assimilate completely to the country where they live while others feel it is more important to preserve their native culture. Discuss both side and give your opinion.

#feel #individuals #country #culture #side

In recent times, thanks to modern technologies and the invention of aircraft and trains, humans are allowed to immigrate more and more. Some loud that newcomers should adapt to the new

culture

completely.

Nevertheless

Add a comma

,Nevertheless

show examples

others claim that they should preserve their cultures. I personally contend that both views are vitally crucial to some extent. In the following essay, I will discuss both perspectives as well as explain my idea accurately. On the one hand, it is an indisputable fact that

assimilate

Wrong verb form

assimilating

show examples

perfectly into the civilization of the destination

country

can speed up communication skills which are vitally important in order to make friends, find a job and make up a strong job network. To explain, consider the

second

generation of

immigrants

. They grew up with the

culture

and customs of the adapted

country

; they

also

learned a new language from childhood.

Thus

, in adulthood, they can socialize far

Change the word

apply

show examples

better rather than their parents.

On the other hand

, our

culture

is our identity.

Therefore

, conserving our customs is a pivotal role.

In addition

, in today’s globalized world, we lack diversity. So if

immigrants

keep their customs even in the new

country

, they can build up a potent society. To illustrate, Canada, nowadays, is more open to

immigrants

rather than other countries. As a consequence, Canada has a colourful society. Iranian

immigrants

, as a salient example, establish various different restaurants and serve Iranian special dishes in the mentioned

country

Likewise

, Chinese

immigrants

sell their costumes there. In

this

way, Canada has become a multinational society. By way of conclusion, I once again reaffirm my position that either conserving the hometown

culture

or assimilating into the new

culture

is equally important. In my view, newcomers should utilize a balance between these two variables.

Submitted by samaneh.k76 on Mon Oct 24 2022

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

291 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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