Nowadays, more and more jobs and tasks are done by machines which involve hard physical work. Do the positive effects of this trend outweigh the negative effects?

#jobs #tasks #machines #work #effects #trend

Today many

jobs

that require a heavy physical strength are automated by machines. I believe that

advantages

Correct article usage

the advantages

show examples

like more productive

work

and

less

Correct word choice

lower

show examples

labor

Change the spelling

labour

show examples

costs

this

trend overshadow its drawbacks. Some

people

argue that automation can lead to

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

job loss. Many

people

make

living

Correct article usage

a living

show examples

by working in physically demanding

jobs

like construction. They

work

all day to carry heavy bricks across a construction field.

This

action takes too much time and energy. Some

companies

may decide to use advanced vehicles to facilitate their

jobs

. The usage of new technology in

this

field can make their

labor

Change the spelling

labour

show examples

redundant and, their

companies

can lay them off.

However

this

issue can be addressed by teaching those

people

different skills that can make them valuable in other disciplines.

For example

, countries may start new programs to help those

people

to learn various professions like engineering, Data Analyst,

teacher

Replace the word

teaching

show examples

and so on.

Consequently

people

who are in need can acquire invaluable skills, and

companies

can

better

Add a missing verb

be better

show examples

off with more

efficent

Correct your spelling

efficient

work

. I think that innovative technologies can bring more benefits.

Firstly

, the job process will be more productive. Before if you need ten workers to lift bricks in construction, now three of them will be sufficient. The rest of the

work

will be taken care of by automated vehicles.

Secondly

companies

will minimize their operating

costs

like salary

costs

. Today

jobs

that depend on the power of

people

can cost workplaces a lot since they have to spend money on advertising a job vacancy and paying a recruiter.

Additionally

, they have to pay salaries and insurance

costs

for each employee once they

hired

Wrong verb form

hire

show examples

them.

Therefore

, it can mitigate their financial burden. In conclusion, the

utiliziation

Correct your spelling

utilization

utilisation

of automatic machines is

benefical

Correct your spelling

beneficial

for most businesses as they can boost

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

productivity at

work

and alleviate

companies

' financial

costs

. .

Submitted by Dinare Abdullayeva on Thu Aug 22 2024

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General

Despite minor grammatical errors and some awkward phrasing, your ideas are clear and well-expressed. Try to refine these areas for a more polished essay.

Coherence and Cohesion

Consider organizing your paragraphs into more distinct parts: one for the thesis statement, one for each point supporting your main argument, and a conclusion paragraph.

Task Response

Your essay addresses the question well, discussing both positive and negative points. However, providing more specific examples and data would strengthen your arguments even further.

Task Response

Your introduction sets a clear and concise thesis statement, which is great.

Coherence and Cohesion

Your conclusion effectively summarises your main points, reinforcing your argument quite well.

Coherence and Cohesion

The essay has a logical structure, with well-defined paragraphs for different points.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

304 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Nowadays, more and more jobs and tasks are done by machines which involve hard physical work. Do the positive effects of this trend outweigh the negative effects?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

ILETS WRITING 2 - OPINION Essay Too much emphasis is given for the education of students. More government money should be spent on free time activities for young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centre or malls to do their shopping. Is this a positive or a negative development?

for schoolchildren , their teachers have more influence on their intelligence and social development than their parents . to what extent do you agree or disagree.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+