IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example working for charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to young children) To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, in
this
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 complicated world, some
people
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 are confident that unpaid community services should be
mandatory
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a mandatory
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 part of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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high
school
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 education. In my point of view, I totally agree with the thesis since it is essential to apply the
knowledges
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knowledge
pieces of knowledge
bits of knowledge
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 have gotten during the education process
in addition
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 to helping others.
In
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This
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this
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 essay will be discussed agreements
to
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with
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 the topic.
First
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 and foremost, there is a huge amount of society that
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 needy and would appreciate
the
Correct article usage
apply
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support from the young generation.
Accordingly
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, the world could get better in case of
majority
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the majority
a majority
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 of
people
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 would help
poor
Correct article usage
the poor
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 part of them irrespective of what
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
type of help it would be. On one hand, if educators helped the destitute persons somehow,
then
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 social inequality would be balanced slightly.
Correct your spelling
On
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One
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On
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 the other hand, it would possibly play
pivotal
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a pivotal
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 role for
young
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the young
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 generation to monitor the actions of the old generation in helping needy ones.
For instance
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, primary or secondary
school
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 educators will follow how the high
school
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 disciples are helping poor
people
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 or teaching other students in
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the area
an area
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area
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areas
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 they are confident.
Secondly
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,
the
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apply
show examples
communication is a key to many problems and takes a crucial role in
life
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the life
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 of a modern human.
Accordingly
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,
the
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apply
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participation in
unusual
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the unusual
an unusual
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situation
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situations
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 would give an important lesson to a student.
Hence
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, students will be studying to communicate through leadership,
team work
Correct your spelling
teamwork
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besides
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 using have gotten
knowledges
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knowledge
pieces of knowledge
bits of knowledge
show examples
 through
the
Correct article usage
apply
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teaching.
For example
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, a major
of
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apply
show examples
pupil
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the pupil
a pupil
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 is a professional basketball coach. So, the future coach goes
to
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on to
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 share have gotten
knowledges
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knowledge
pieces of knowledge
bits of knowledge
show examples
 in the university he
study
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studies
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 at to a
school
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 where he had been studying before for a while.
Thus
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, sharing the information with
the
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apply
show examples
primary
school
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 students would have a huge impact
to
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on
show examples
the
Remove the article
apply
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both sides. To conclude,
to share
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sharing
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 knowledge
to
Change preposition
with
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 others and help
for
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apply
show examples
the
people
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 who will be grateful for it could build correct habits
in addition
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 to the character of the nation.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • compulsory
  • high school programmes
  • unpaid community service
  • charity
  • improving the neighbourhood
  • teaching sports
  • sense of responsibility
  • empathy
  • broader perspective
  • societal issues
  • college applications
  • job applications
  • positive impact
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