some people believe that if people are not allowed to work after the age of 60, it cause problems. Do you agree or disagree?
Rules for working at the
age
above sixty
varies country to country. Many believe it is healthy to get retire from work
after reaching sixty
while others believe retiring from work
only because of age
Correct article usage
the age
limit
creates difficulties. Personally, Fix the agreement mistake
limits
i
am in favour of the latter and in the following Change the capitalization
I
paragraphs
I will be explaining my views.
Add a comma
,paragraphs
To begin
with, restricting people
from work
after a certain age
produce
huge stress about their financial stability as the job was the main source of livelihood for a long period of time. Correct subject-verb agreement
produces
For instance
, service holders in Bangladesh compulsorily retire after sixty
when in most cases families struggle to carry on due to sudden
cut off of income. Correct article usage
a sudden
Thus
, the person who was once responsible for providing with
all needs of the household Change preposition
for
go
through unbearable mental Change the verb form
goes
stresses
just because he is now not able to support Fix the agreement mistake
stress
financially
as before. Correct pronoun usage
himself financially
Such
incapability kills their inner peace which may lead to damage in
family bonds.
Another point worth mentioning is that working keeps Change preposition
to
people
active and healthy. When a person stop
working as s/he gets to Change the verb form
stops
sixty
, cells of their body stop lose
Correct word choice
and lose
regenration
power and Correct your spelling
regeneration
thus
the process of aging
goes faster. Change the spelling
ageing
On the other hand
, people
who continue to work
tens to age
two times slower than those who retire after sixty
. For instance
, Japanese
are renowned in the world for their Correct article usage
the Japanese
longeivity
which is mostly contributed by the practice of being active even at the Correct your spelling
longevity
age
of 100.
In conclusion, age
limit Correct article usage
the age
of
Change preposition
for
work
permit
causes Fix the agreement mistake
permits
people
to go through financial
Correct article usage
a financial
crisis
leading to Fix the agreement mistake
crises
Correct your spelling
damage
Correct article usage
a damge
damge
Correct your spelling
damage
in
family cohesion along with gearing up their Change preposition
to
aging
process. Change the spelling
ageing
Therefore
, governments of any country should not force citizens to leave their work
just Correct your spelling
because
beacuse
of Correct your spelling
because
age
if they are fit and willing to continue their jobs.Submitted by barson.mithun392 on
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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