Some people think that success in life comes from hard work and determination,while other think that tere are more important factors such as money and appearance.Discuss both views and give your opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

this

Linking Words

ambitious world, money is trending. Indeed, people are being evaluated based on their wealth. Some believe that working hard in life will eventually make you successful,

while

Linking Words

others on

contrary

Correct article usage

the contrary

show examples

, believe that it is all about being wealthy and having good

looking

Replace the word

looks

show examples

While

Linking Words

both views are logical, in my opinion, hard work is the key to becoming powerful. In the forthcoming paragraphs,

this

Linking Words

essay will elaborate more on both views by exemplifying lucid examples. Working hard with a lot of ambition will eventually be the reason for reaching your goals. But

this

Linking Words

needs a lot of patience.

For example

Linking Words

, students usually finish university willing to start working. There are those who work hard to reach their goals rather than give up.

Moreover

Linking Words

, we often listen to successful businessmen, how they started their careers which they don't admire, but ended up being so wealthy and relating

this

Linking Words

to their dedication and a lot of determination until they reach their passion.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, there are some

that

Correct pronoun usage

who

show examples

believe money is everything in life, it could make you famous and well-known.

In addition

Linking Words

to being wealthy, being good-looking

also

Linking Words

lead

Correct subject-verb agreement

leads

show examples

you to the same.

Although

Linking Words

it is somehow correct, in my ,opinion there is much less chance of

this

Linking Words

. In view of

this

Linking Words

, we rarely see a wealthy human who reaches their goal without being dedicated or

whereas

Linking Words

without working brutally before reaching

this

Linking Words

Besides

Linking Words

, being affluent without working will eventually lead to failure.

For example

Linking Words

, a businessman will never succeed only by being rich.

To sum up

Linking Words

, everything mentioned and both views are all keys to reaching what you want. But in my ,opinion it's all about passion and dedication rather than being good-looking without working hard to succeed.

ayoub.mehdiThu Oct 27 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response

Ensure to fully address both aspects of the topic (hard work and determination vs. money and appearance) to provide a balanced argument.

coherence cohesion

Overall, the essay has a clear logical structure with a well-organized introduction and conclusion. However, make sure to use linking words to connect ideas more cohesively within paragraphs.

lexical resource

The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary and appropriate word choices. Consider using more sophisticated and varied vocabulary to enhance the lexical resource.

grammatical range

There are various grammatical errors throughout the essay. Pay closer attention to subject-verb agreement, verb tense consistency, and sentence structure.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

288 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

multifaceted
determination
humble beginnings
long-term goals
influential networks
public image
societal standards
amplify opportunities
foundational
crucial
exemplifying

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

8
band
Write a letter to your manager asking for permission to give a presentation. In your letter: describe what type of presentation you have in mind what topics it would cover and how long it would take who should participate in the presentation and where should it be conducted You do NOT need to write any address.
I am writing this letter to seek your permission to give a presentation.
7.5
band
: Some people suggest that bringing up children by the whole family including uncles, aunts, and grandparents is better, rather than only by parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree
The upbringing of children is a crucial aspect of shaping their personality. Some people believe that parents should be the primary caregivers, while others hold differing opinions. I align with the first mindset.
6.5
band
Some people think restoration of old buildings take huge amount of government expenditure. It would be more beneficial to use this money for development of new buildings and roads. To what extent do you agree/disagree with the statement
In the contemporary era, heritage construction is the identity of any nation’s pride and respect globally. Some individuals believe that repair and maintenance of such old buildings are a waste of money instead use that currency to build new infrastructures. I strongly agree with this notion and will discuss why I agree.
8
band
You know what a building company Is planning to build new houses in immediate proximity to your house. Write a letter to the manager of the company.
I hope this letter finds you well. I am writing to commend your plan to build new houses just beside my house. Yesterday, I saw an advertisement on the notice board of the society’s office. Although the whole construction will last for more than a year, I’m glad that our society will have new houses and more people.
6
band
In many countries, the level of crimes is increasing and crimes are becoming more violent. What are the main cause? How can we deal with?
In modern times, the rate of committing crime is reported to seriously increase in many developing nations. Moreover, there is a rising popularity in the violent level of criminal activities, which poses a severe threat to communities. The primary reasons for this situation partly stem from extravagant lifestyles in metropolises coupled with people’s resistance. However, it can be addressed by the government organizing defensive programs in society.

Some people think that success in life comes from hard work and determination,while other think that tere are more important factors such as money and appearance.Discuss both views and give your opinion.

: Some people suggest that bringing up children by the whole family including uncles, aunts, and grandparents is better, rather than only by parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree

Some people think restoration of old buildings take huge amount of government expenditure. It would be more beneficial to use this money for development of new buildings and roads. To what extent do you agree/disagree with the statement

You know what a building company Is planning to build new houses in immediate proximity to your house. Write a letter to the manager of the company.

In many countries, the level of crimes is increasing and crimes are becoming more violent. What are the main cause? How can we deal with?