Some people think that success in life comes from hard work and determination,while other think that tere are more important factors such as money and appearance.Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #success #life #work #determination #tere #factors #money #appearance

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this

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ambitious world, money is trending. Indeed, people are being evaluated based on their wealth. Some believe that working hard in life will eventually make you successful,

while

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others on

contrary

Correct article usage

the contrary

show examples

, believe that it is all about being wealthy and having good

looking

Replace the word

looks

show examples

While

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both views are logical, in my opinion, hard work is the key to becoming powerful. In the forthcoming paragraphs,

this

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essay will elaborate more on both views by exemplifying lucid examples. Working hard with a lot of ambition will eventually be the reason for reaching your goals. But

this

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needs a lot of patience.

For example

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, students usually finish university willing to start working. There are those who work hard to reach their goals rather than give up.

Moreover

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, we often listen to successful businessmen, how they started their careers which they don't admire, but ended up being so wealthy and relating

this

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to their dedication and a lot of determination until they reach their passion.

Furthermore

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, there are some

that

Correct pronoun usage

who

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believe money is everything in life, it could make you famous and well-known.

In addition

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to being wealthy, being good-looking

also

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lead

Correct subject-verb agreement

leads

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you to the same.

Although

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it is somehow correct, in my ,opinion there is much less chance of

this

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. In view of

this

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, we rarely see a wealthy human who reaches their goal without being dedicated or

whereas

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without working brutally before reaching

this

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Besides

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, being affluent without working will eventually lead to failure.

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, a businessman will never succeed only by being rich.

To sum up

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, everything mentioned and both views are all keys to reaching what you want. But in my ,opinion it's all about passion and dedication rather than being good-looking without working hard to succeed.

Submitted by ayoub.mehdi on Thu Oct 27 2022

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task response

Ensure to fully address both aspects of the topic (hard work and determination vs. money and appearance) to provide a balanced argument.

coherence cohesion

Overall, the essay has a clear logical structure with a well-organized introduction and conclusion. However, make sure to use linking words to connect ideas more cohesively within paragraphs.

lexical resource

The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary and appropriate word choices. Consider using more sophisticated and varied vocabulary to enhance the lexical resource.

grammatical range

There are various grammatical errors throughout the essay. Pay closer attention to subject-verb agreement, verb tense consistency, and sentence structure.

11
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

288 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

multifaceted
determination
humble beginnings
long-term goals
influential networks
public image
societal standards
amplify opportunities
foundational
crucial
exemplifying

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Some people think that success in life comes from hard work and determination,while other think that tere are more important factors such as money and appearance.Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Modern technology has made it easier for individuals to download copyrighted music and books from the internet for no charge. To what extent is this a positive or a negative development?

Some people think that the best way to succeed is to get a university education, while others disagree and say that it is no longer true nowadays. Discuss both views and give your own opinions.

In many countries, the government prioritizes economic growth over all other concerns. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this.

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both views and give your opinion.