IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some argue younger people are not suitable for important positions in the government, while others think this is a good idea. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#argue #people #positions #government #idea
Young generations have played a really important role in our modern life. Yet when it comes to whether younger
people
 are suitable for important work in
government
 some
people
 hold conflicting views. Someone believes that young
people
 are able to deal with important
government
 issues,
however
, others assert that they are too young to have
Add an article
an
show examples
occupation in
government
 important positions.
This
 essay discusses these two arguments, and I will give my own perspective on which young
people
 are suitable for
government
 important jobs. Granted, someone thinks that young
people
 who are so young that lacking enough experience when facing difficult and important
government
 problems, so they could not give a proper solution and cope with political problems. The important positions of
government
 contain more duties and heavier responsibilities than young
people
 thought and a wrong policy may have a really bad influence on many
people
 and many social aspects. I think that they are ignoring the ages so I can not agree with them.
First
, as for the young man who has more energy and creativity than the
people
 older than them, they can put more attention
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the political stuff and think
out
Change preposition
outside
show examples
 of the boxes which are made by the old generations, Which would make society more energetic and positive.
Second
, Young
people
 know much about
this
 new age Dealing with issues in new internet and AI ways can improve society's development more rapidly.
Last
 but not least, young
people
 have stronger learning skills and potential than old
people
, so they will make the
government
 energetic and full of potential like they are. In conclusion, I concede that if the significant position of
government
 contains none of the young
people
 will generate more downsides. On balance, I am convinced that
government
 should let some young generations do some leadership jobs and vital work.
Submitted by 阳民0425 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: