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Band 7.5

Violence in playgrounds is increasing. However, it is important that parents should teach children not to hit back at bullies. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#violence #playgrounds #parents #children
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In contemporary society,severity is rising in parks but it is necessary that
parents
 ought to inform their offspring not to react severely to bullies.Both factors will explain separately. One of the main reasons for violence increasing in playgrounds is that some
children
 are growing up in broken families.
This
 is simply because it has become brutality.
In other words
,owing to inadequate care,they are more likely to be violent against others.To exemplify my opinion,today,many
children
 are living in orphanages
hence
 they are deprived of their
parents
' love due to
this
 reason they have a tendency to be envious and brutal toward those who are living in happy families.
That is
 why the majority of violent behaviours reasons come from families.
However
,it is crucial that
parents
 should teach their
children
 to avoid demonstrating misbehaving when they are exposed to violence.In order to realize it,
parents
 ought to keep under control their offspring to supervise and amend each attitude.
Moreover
,they have a chance to make two ways to communicate with
school
 teachers to get information about
children
's
school
 activities.It is the best way because when
children
 are at
school
,it is impossible to follow them but
school
 authorities can help them.
Additionally
,
school
 teachers have a great liability to educate
children
 to show good treatment in playgrounds.One explanation for
this
,in China,teenagers are taught by college authorities about how they can give a proper reaction when they are facing violence.They attend psychology lessons to overcome
this
. To conclude,it is irrefutable that there is some evidence that a violent response to bullying is acceptable occasionally but the correct way is to choose a non-violent strategy.
Moreover
,teachers and
parents
 have a tremendous impact on tackling
this
 issue.
Submitted by malikli.malik1995 on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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