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The average standard of people's health is likely to be lower in the future than it is now. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#people #health #future
Health
 is wealth. Many factors can affect the well-being of a person. It could be their daily food intake, their work-life balance, and their environment. The modern and industrialized world we have today can
also
 affect the
health
 of individuals. It is safe to say that the average standard of
people
’s
health
 is likely to be lower in the future than it is now. Most
people
 wanted to be fit and healthy. Some indulge themselves to observe a healthy diet, exercise, and self-discipline. There are
also
people
 who want to be healthy but cannot help themselves to eat more until they are satisfied with cravenness. Some do exercise but lack
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
focus and discipline.
Moreover
,
people
 are very workaholics and have no life-work balance. To the extent that they become
stress
Wrong verb form
stressed
show examples
, they deprive themselves of sleep and eating time. A toxic environment can
also
 affect the
health
 of
people
 due to negativities that hinder them to have a peaceful, happy and comfortable life.
Furthermore
,
people
 especially the young are very abusive to their
health
 by drinking and smoking cigarettes, which shortened their life. They are more engaged with night outs and
partying
Change the form of the verb
parties
show examples
. Some take illegal drugs, which greatly affect their body. Addiction to computer games and other gadgets
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 a negative impact
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
human
Add an article
the human
show examples
 body due to radiation and
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
. The production and manufacturing of foods have an impact on the
health
 of consumers. Most agricultural products undergo a process that requires more fertilizer, insecticides, pesticides and other chemicals. Due to manufacturing factories and
other building establishment
Change the wording
another building establishment
other building establishments
show examples
, the air and water were polluted. In
this
 regard, I do agree with the statement. Because the earth that we have now is dying due to human activities and negligence. Which can highly affect the
health
 of
people
. Which results in
lower
Add an article
the lower
a lower
show examples
 mortality rate of
people
 on earth.
Submitted by shellyfaith28 on

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • 1. Standard of health
  • 2. Average
  • 3. Lower
  • 4. Future
  • 5. Aging population
  • 6. Chronic diseases
  • 7. Sedentary lifestyle
  • 8. Lack of exercise
  • 9. Poor dietary habits
  • 10. Environmental pollution
  • 11. Technological advancements
  • 12. Impact on health
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