IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think governments should spend money on saving languages with fewer speakers from dying out completely. Others think this is a waste of financial resources. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
With the development of multinational communication and big data, some of the major
languages
Use synonyms
 are being utilized more frequently whilst an increasing number of minority
languages
Use synonyms
 are being marginalized by the major ones. Under
such
Linking Words
circumstance
Fix the agreement mistake
circumstances
show examples
, the topic concerning whether the authorities ought to invest funds to preserve or not has been discussed widely. Understandably, it is evident that spending money on saving endangered
languages
Use synonyms
instead
Linking Words
 of other fields concerning science, technology, commercial or even art is of significant waste since everybody
know
Change the verb form
knows
show examples
 the fact that the latter ones are more beneficial to our community. But what those
languages
Use synonyms
 bring and mean to us is not just on the material level but the inner world, or you could say it is a kind of our treasure hiding in our
human’s
Change noun form
human
show examples
 history. So, in terms of the opposite aspect, the real function of those authorities’ finance is to make their people happier and richer. Losing
personality
Correct article usage
the personality
show examples
 of a country’s image or even
essence
Correct article usage
the essence
show examples
 of the core culture, their
languages
Use synonyms
, might not be a delightful event for their people. In another word, the diversity of the
languages
Use synonyms
 must be the best way to show our
human’s
Change noun form
human
show examples
 prosperity and charm,
that is
Linking Words
also
Linking Words
 why we should maintain and treasure our traditions as well as those old-fashioned and less-used but meaningful
languages
Use synonyms
. Based on the mentioned discussions, I personally tend to side with the latter stance. Albeit there are some other fields
which
Correct word choice
that
show examples
 governments and the residents are willing to fund to enhance the strength and quality, the maintenance of the minority
languages
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
play
Change the verb form
plays
show examples
 a critical role in our reality.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: