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Band 5.5

Nowadays, more and more people from different cities are spending more time away from their families. What are the possible reasons and the effects on the people themselves and their families?

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A quick reflection on a typical day reveals, how the advent of technology has revolutionized the world, especially the way of living. In
this
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 contemporary society, many
individuals
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 are preferring to move away from their loved ones, to different cities. In
this
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 ,essay we are not only going to look at the eminent reasons behind it but
also
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 at the way it is affecting
people
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 as well as their
families
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.
Firstly
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, nowadays,
people
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 tend to live in bustling
citiescities
Correct your spelling
cities cities
 far away from their
families
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. One of the most prominent reasons behind
this
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 is the
generation
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gap
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. The majority of the present
generation
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 has failed to understand their lov ed ones and vice versa as the young
generation
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 is getting influenced by western culture and their parents are totally against it because their own cultures are on the verge of extinction due to western culture. Sometimes,
this
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gap
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 can cause disagreements among members of the family, which can be detrimental to the entire family.
Additionally
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, the lack of education resources access in some parts of the world is
also
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 a major cause of why
people
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 are moving away to different cities, which can provide them easy access to quality education.
As a result
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, quality education will help
individuals
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 to stay ahead of the curve and can secure a high-paying job, by which
individuals
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 can fulfil their
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families
Change noun form
family's
families'
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 needs.
For instance
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, a survey has conducted by YALE university on 25,000
people
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 from the countryside in 2011. The outcome was flabbergasted as a majority of the young children were not living with their
families
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 due to less resource access.
Hence
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, factors including the
generation
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gap
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 are the main cause of why
people
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 are moving to different cities.
Secondly
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, the above situation can lead
individuals
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 as well as their
families
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 to some catastrophic outcomes as it will directly impact the individual's mindset negatively, due to a lack of emotion as well financial support.
Consequently
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, these factors will lead them to several mental disorders as well
such
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 as anxiety and depression, which can be an uphill
battlebattle
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battle battle
 for
individuals
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 to overcome.
Moreover
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,
families
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 will
also
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 suffer as no one will be there to look after them in their old age. To give an illustration, a recent study has been carried out by Oxford University on 2000
people
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 who were residing away from their
families
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 in the year 2016. The outcomes were astonishing as the study showcased less mental stability amongst the
people
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 who were living without their
families
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.
Hence
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, ramifications caused by staying away from loved ones
,
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apply
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 could be ineluctable. In a nutshell, there are several reasons, why
people
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 want to stay away from their
families
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, including the
generation
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gap
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.
Results
Correct article usage
The results
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 arising from
this
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 situation could be severe and dreadful for
individuals
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 as well as their
families
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.

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Professional commitments
  • Economic factors
  • Career opportunities
  • Demanding careers
  • High-paying jobs
  • Higher education
  • Prestigious universities
  • Specialized training programs
  • Economic opportunities
  • Living costs
  • Healthcare services
  • Medical treatments
  • Feeling of loneliness
  • Stress levels
  • Mental health issues
  • Lack of family support
  • Close relationships
  • Weakened family bonds
  • Communication gaps
  • Emotional distress
  • Physical separation
  • Strain on marital relationships
  • Parenting
  • Personal freedom
  • Social interactions
  • Lifestyle choices
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