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Band 1

Schools are no longer necessary because children can get so much information available through the internet, and they can study just as well at home. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#schools #children #information #internet #study #home
It is sometimes argued that with the extensive materials available on the Internet,
students
 can learn by themselves at home, so schools are no longer essential. In my opinion, I totally disagree with the statement. I believed that self-study at home is not beneficial at all.
Firstly
, some
students
 can not concentrate on
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 study because of the
noise
Replace the word
noisy
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Correct pronoun usage
their surrounding
show examples
surrounding
Fix the agreement mistake
surroundings
show examples
.
Secondly
,
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
the
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
 don’t know how to use
these information
Change the determiner
this information
show examples
 in the right way. For
examples
Fix the agreement mistake
example
show examples
,
students
 usually search for the answer
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
maths,
although
Correct word choice
and although
show examples
 they don’t understand the answer, they still copy
down
Change preposition
apply
show examples
it.
In contrast
,
study
Wrong verb form
studying
show examples
 at
schools
Fix the agreement mistake
school
show examples
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 very necessary.
Students
 can concentrate more on the lessons and not be worried about the surrounding.
In addition
, they are more independent and do not rely on the Internet.
Submitted by bttha.qn on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • social development
  • fostering communication
  • personalized guidance
  • immediate feedback
  • replicated
  • structured environments
  • discipline
  • time management skills
  • extracurricular activities
  • nurture talents
  • inculcate
  • sense of community
  • shared learning experiences
  • equal access
  • learning opportunities
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