IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Most societies have its homeless people. Some people think that the best way to help them is to give them money. To what extent do you agree?

#societies #people #money
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Nowadays homelessness is
one
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 of the most important problems that
people
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 all around the world are dealing with.
Although
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 assigning a specific number of wages to assist disadvantaged
people
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 could be an effective short-term solution, better proceedings should be started by the government to get rid of
this
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 issue.
Firstly
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, devoting
money
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 to help individuals who struggle with homelessness is considered a source of controversy among
people
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, it means that even though these kinds of
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
 bring the needy pleasure for a short time, the main problem has not changed.
In addition
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, the tiny amount of
money
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 gets them an opportunity to meet some of their needs
such
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 as clothes or food,
however
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, we have to know actions like
this
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, sometimes, make them more reliant on
people
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’s help.
secondly
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, the majority of
people
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 who care about unprivileged ones may save their life and enable them to find a decent place to sleep for
one
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 night. It is not surprising that these kinds of humanitarian activities give
people
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 a sense of achievement.
Then
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, giving
money
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 to
people
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 who suffer from homelessness does not solve the problem completely,
however
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, provides them
an
Add the preposition
with an
show examples
 opportunity to live more. On the
one
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 hand,
although
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 all
people
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 are responsible for their counterparts’ issues in
one
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society
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, governments should be known as the main organization that eradicates social issues. To explain more, unemployment and poverty are common factors that lead to living on the streets, based on which many programs should be designed to provide suitable job positions for them.
Furthermore
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, the high price of renting or buying makes it less affordable in depressed areas of
one
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society
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.
On the other hand
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, some
people
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 are drug or alcohol addicts who struggle to live in a normal
society
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, for
this
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 group
money
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 may bring them more challenges and make life harder. They should be given proper treatment
instead
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 of
money
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. So, finding the roots of problems is a more helpful way to have a better
society
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. To conclude, many
people
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 all around the world are struggling with many problems including poverty and lack of accommodation.
Although
Linking Words
 when all citizens look out to
this
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 ground it could be helpful to relieve their pain, just the government’s support both financially and basically.
Submitted by m_faramin on

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