IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

It is important for people to take risks, both in their personal lives and professional lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risk outweigh the disadvantages

#people #risks #lives #risk
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is a discussion about the
risk
Use synonyms
 that plays a vital role in many aspects of people’s lives,
such
Linking Words
 as job careers, education, and other important periods of life. In my point of view,
this
Linking Words
 statement is true, and the proses are more than the cons. I will discuss my opinion in the forthcoming paragraphs.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
risk
Use synonyms
 leads to achieving success. To clarify, when people perform a
risk
Use synonyms
, their goals are more accessible to reach.
For instance
Linking Words
, there are some businessmen who improve their situations just by
risking
Replace the word
risk
show examples
. Elon musk is one of that people. When he was in big trouble at his earlier step, he took a considerable
risk
Use synonyms
 and invested a large amount of his wealth to improve his company; even
it
Correct word choice
if it
show examples
 might have dreadful consequences for his position.
As a result
Linking Words
, at
this
Linking Words
 moment, he is the richest man in the world due to his approach to taking a
risk
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, in some cases, taking a
risk
Use synonyms
 has a destructive result for a person. Because some people believe they should take a
risk
Use synonyms
 without thinking. So, it causes a lot of harmful impacts on their patches. But the essential thing for risking is to be rational and consider all options before destinations.
For example
Linking Words
, one of my close friends lost his wealth
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
 an irrational
risk
Use synonyms
.
As a result
Linking Words
, he is depressed by his wrong perspective. To conclude my essay, taking a
risk
Use synonyms
 is one of the key factors to reaching our dreams.
However
Linking Words
, we should take it rationally and weigh all the aspects before taking it practical in our ways. Totally, I believe the advantages of
this
Linking Words
 approach are more significant than the disadvantages.
Submitted by parsafatahi1998 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: