Of late, it is believed that students studying in secondary school and high school should be taught how to manage money as it is an important life skill. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this argument? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people believe that school pupils who are studying in junior and senior high school should be taught about managing their own

money

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which is one of the essential life skills. In my opinion, managing

money

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that is

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given to us by our parents are necessary for life

skill

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skills

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because it helps individuals to strive

the

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for the

show examples

future.

To begin

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with, managing

money

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for

adolescents

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bring

Correct subject-verb agreement

brings

show examples

some positive benefits.

First,

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individuals will get the basic knowledge of saving

money

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which is important to understand.

This

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idea of saving

money

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will lead them to be wise people and not be controlled by

money

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. They will understand how to use

money

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properly, especially

for preparing

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to prepare

show examples

themselves for the future that will be coming.

For example

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adolescents

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will know earlier about

money

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investment where they can get the benefits of it

such

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as profits, experiences and knowledge about investment.

Moreover

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, managing

money

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tends to help

adolescents

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become extravagant about

money

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. So they will be more aware of financial freedom which will be good for them in the future.

Although

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majorities

adolescents

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still don't get any income by themselves,

this

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will lead to

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

good

habit

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habits

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For example

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, buying things could lead to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

lavish habits that's why it's important for the adolescent to know how to properly manage their

money

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as soon as possible. In conclusion, managing

money

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is essential for any individual, especially

adolescents

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However

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, many adolescent still don't get any lessons from their parents about

this

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good habit.

Therefore

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, everybody should realize how powerful

money

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is and it can lead to bad or good things. I strongly agree that pupils in junior and senior high school should be taught about saving

money

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ru.kabiru.biru

Apr 8, 2024

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task achievement

Ensure your essay directly addresses all parts of the task. Your response captures the essence of the question, but further emphasis on the counter-arguments could highlight a more balanced perspective.

task achievement

Try to enrich your essay with more specific examples from your own experience or general observations. This can significantly strengthen your arguments.

coherence cohesion

Use a variety of cohesive devices to connect ideas and paragraphs smoothly. While your essay has a good flow, a wider array of transitions can enhance clarity and coherence.

coherence cohesion

Keep working on paragraph structuring to ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and that it is fully developed and supported.

coherence cohesion

Your introduction and conclusion are clear and effectively frame your essay's argument.

coherence cohesion

You have maintained a good logical structure throughout the essay, making your argument easy to follow.

task achievement

The essay includes relevant examples and explanations which help in illustrating your points.

task achievement

Your stance on the topic is clear and consistently supported throughout the essay.

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

280 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

financial literacy
budgeting
savings culture
spending wisely
financial stability
responsibility
discipline
financial goals
long-term financial health
digital transactions
online banking
interest rates
investments
credit scores
debt management
academic pressures
curriculum balance
informed financial decisions

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