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Band 6

Some people believe money is best gift for teenagers while others disagree.discuss both views and guve your opinion

#people #money #gift #teenagers #guve
There are different views about the importance of
money
 as a gift for teenagers. While some argue that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
cash
 as a present is
most
Correct article usage
the most
show examples
 influential, others disagree. I, on my part, believe that giving love is the best present in the world. To commence with the view of the former group, there are two reasons behind their position.
First
 is that
money
 is the best offering to joy
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
teenagers. If people give property
their
Change preposition
to their
show examples
 offspring or close relative. Their juvenile will be
control
Change preposition
in control
show examples
how
Change preposition
of how
show examples
 can manage their bill.
For instance
, I have a little brother, we give them every year bunch of
money
.
Thus
, he has been saving
money
.
In addition
 to
this
, juveniles can spend
cash
 on things they really needed. They can use that
cash
 for their carrier growth. Definitely, other arguments exist too, but the ones mentioned, I believe, do stand out. Turning to the latter group's point of view, they
also
 have their own grounds to
jusify
Correct your spelling
justify
 the position they hold.
First
 of all, If society
give
Change the verb form
gives
show examples
cash
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 teenagers they can
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
not forget it
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
month after year absolutely forget about it.
For example
, In my view, my parents give me every year
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
money
,
Correct word choice
but
show examples
however
Add a comma
,however
show examples
 I do not remember about it. Aside from
this
, If parents or relatives give juveniles
such
kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
show examples
 of toys or latters, they can
surprised
Change the verb form
be surprised
surprise
show examples
.
Also
, they do not forget after some time. The availability of other arguments is undeniable, but mentioning them is not worthy. In conclusion,
although
 the opinions of people regarding gifts as
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
money
 vary, I am convinced that giving love is the best present in the world.
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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