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Band 7

Some people think that the government should be responsible for crimes prevention, while others believe that it is responsibility of the individual to protect themselves. Discuss both the sides and give your opinion.

#people #government #crimes #prevention #responsibility
Some individuals believe that it is the state's responsibility to control the crime rate ,
while
 some consider that people should be more aware of protecting themselves.
Although
 the government could raise patrol officers and induce public awareness , I believe that the majority should implement safety measures in routine and fathers should guide their kids to seek ethical principles. On the one hand, the increase in police officers can stop criminals from hurting someone. A non-stop observation form a trouble-free society as twenty-four hours security all around the city would never let robbers rob, and consequences in calm and tranquillity.
Furthermore
, the Ministry of
metropolitan
Capitalize word
Metropolitan
show examples
 should organise events and seminars through which they could help how to handle abruptly in worse situations on their own.
In addition
, posters can be placed with mentioned emergency contacts and necessary steps regarding safe life.
On the other hand
, a number of folks should
also
 be concerned about following some major steps to secure their valuable lives. Staying at home at late night, ignoring the stranger's call, locking the door
while
 leaving and so on will reduce the generation to stuck in any kind of risk.
Thus
, taking precautions before facing loss is greater.
However
 , It is
also
 a parental obligation to teach their children moral values like how to become a perfect citizen, by educating and teaching them under observation could help them to prevent prison.
For example
, leading research in America has shown that 40 per cent of sinners in lock up , whose guardians did not have a good upbringing , left them alone with their bad deeds. In conclusion, despite the fact that the administration could cut the root cause of felony by expanding their own team and encouraging younger how to act in tedious moments, I moot that natives should
also
 be mindful of their surroundings and edify their springs right values of living in a society.
Submitted by iqrariaz54 on

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language
Work on grammatical accuracy and sentence structure to improve readability. Avoid run-on sentences and manage comma usage effectively.
task response
Ensure the arguments are fully developed with more detailed and clearer examples to provide a stronger support for the main points.
structure
The essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion which effectively summarize the discussion and opinion.
task response
The main points are well laid out and the response addresses both sides of the argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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