IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

Many people argue that eating junk food has led to an unhealthy lifestyle. This problem has become more common among young people these days. Do you agree or disagree that junk food is the cause of the issue?

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As common sense, all hamburgers, soda drinks, chips and french fries are totally looked upon as junk food. Some investigation report shows debris meal may impact the public's foodstuff balance and lack nutrition of in their diet so rubbish snack possibly causes unhealthy status or even illness. I have experienced some hamburgers with french fries, so far, and I definitely agree that clutter fare would be the root factor. On the one hand, lots of human beings, especially the young crowd, would eat a large amount of trash foodstuff to lead to obesity and harm.
For instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, coca-cola is harmful to folk's teeth exactly. Due to hard study at school or fast-paced work, an increasingly young society probably goes wrong with
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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unhealthy dining style.
As a result
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, they might not keep going well during the course of their study or work.
On the other hand
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the growing young community would choose burger's the leading feed because they would like to dine and gather at ease.
Furthermore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, there is no more time to wait because of crowded meal courts here and there.
Likewise
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, people prefer to buy those fast cuisine to eat rapidly as well.
Thus
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, they might ignore crucial ingredients,
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 as artificially sweetened materials, inside the snack and beverages.
Also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, there are no fatal effects as soon as they finish eating. They will not stop to eat those for a short time. To sum up, the population need to select healthy edibles and focus on nutrition. Despite the doctor's advice, one's health belongs to each person. Junkrubble fare could exist for a long time but parents are responsible to know and guide family members to correct their selections.
Therefore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the nation could have a wonderful lifestyle based on nutrition in the long run.

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • dietary habits
  • self-control
  • advertising
  • appealing
  • convenience culture
  • fast food
  • obesity rates
  • nutritional education
  • affordability
  • psychological effects
  • well-being
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