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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their m ain subjects. Others believe that it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#university #students #subjects #addition #m #ain #time #attention #qualification
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Higher education plays an integral role in future of every student. Some learners argue that there should be additional
subjects
Use synonyms
 with the main thesis,
while
Linking Words
 others think that students should focus on major fields.
However
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, in my opinion, institutions should
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 on both major and additional lessons and
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 will explain
this
Linking Words
 in upcoming paragraphs with relevant examples. On the one hand, there are some reasons why some learners just want to hub on the main question.
Firstly
Linking Words
, it is undeniable that higher studies are tougher and tougher to get passed with good grades,
therefore
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, students often do not get time for extra curriculum, so, they just want to devote all of their time to superior courses rather than added topics. To illustrate, majors
such
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 as Master of Biology have a wide variety of contexts over two years,
thus
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, learners do not find
flow
Correct article usage
the flow
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 to learn extra
subjects
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
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, there are many reasons to argue that pupils should be taught the extra
subjects
Use synonyms
 with the addition of the major cores. One of the primary causes is that supplementary courses can enhance the
overall
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 knowledge and learning ability of an individual.
In other words
Linking Words
, majors related to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
foreign language can be a great learning course for a student in order to pursue international language skills.
For instance
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, some of the universities in India have started teaching French as an added subject;
consequently
Linking Words
, it will help the pupils acquire a lucrative profession after their studies.
Moreover
Linking Words
, auxiliary topics like art and painting can provide
pattern
Fix the agreement mistake
patterns
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 to learn new skills apart from the main
subjects
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, so that, they can refresh their mind from stiff lessons. In conclusion,
while
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 some universities just focus on the senior
lessions
Correct your spelling
lessons
, in my opinion, institutions should adopt extracurricular
subjects
Use synonyms
 to their courses.
Submitted by ankitkaushik4657 on

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task achievement
In your essay, you have a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in organizing your ideas effectively. Ensure that your main points are directly aligned with the essay prompt and that they thoroughly explore both views with balanced arguments.
task achievement
Work on providing more specific examples to support your points, especially when discussing theoretical benefits or challenges. This will enhance the depth and persuasiveness of your essay.
coherence and cohesion
You have a logical structure that transitions well between ideas. However, ensure your topic sentences are clear to guide the reader smoothly from one paragraph to another.
coherence and cohesion
Try to avoid repetition of phrases and make sure each paragraph flows smoothly with varied sentence structures.
task achievement
Your introduction effectively sets up the debate and your perspective, making it clear to the reader what to expect in the body of the essay.
coherence and cohesion
The essay maintains a logical flow with clear paragraphs dedicated to different perspectives, which is good for coherence and cohesion.
task achievement
You provide a balanced discussion of both views, which showcases your ability to understand multiple perspectives.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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