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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

POPULATION: The number of people who decide not to have children has increased greatly Do you think this is a positive or negative development

#population #people #children #development
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More and more modern couples have decided not to have
children
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. Some people think that it can
cause
Verb problem
have
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 an adverse impact on our society, but I advocate that having fewer
children
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 these days should be seen as a positive growth in our community. On the one hand, the declining fertility rate has brought a negative effect
in
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on
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 the workforce. The lower number of
children
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 eventually causes the labour shortage because the job market needs young people to continually take over the position that the older generation left. The fewer
children
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 are born, the fewer available working staff will work in the future.
For instance
Linking Words
, many European countries where lots of couples decided not to have
children
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, have suffered from the deficiency of qualified clerks and have to rent workers from other developing countries to foster the economy.
On the other hand
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, with the lower fertility rate,
children
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 may
be received
Wrong verb form
receive
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 a better education from their parents and schools. On an individual level, families with only one child can provide good living and studying conditions for kids. Some recent surveys have shown that
children
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 from one-kid families have more chances to study in prestigious and expensive universities than those coming from large families.
Additionally
Linking Words
, on the social level, with fewer
children
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, better childcare can be provided with the same resources, which offers a comprehensive education for kids. Take a school with 100 students as an example, they can provide students with state-of-the-art facilities and spacious studying space from the same budget as those having more than 1000 students. In conclusion, having fewer kids can
cause
Verb problem
have
show examples
 a detrimental impact on the workforce, but it is more obvious that reducing the fertility rate brings more advantages for individuals and society.
Submitted by hieungan14214 on

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coherence cohesion
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • demographic shifts
  • fertility rates
  • sustainable development
  • economic forecasts
  • social security systems
  • work-life balance
  • resource allocation
  • ecological footprint
  • intentional childlessness
  • individualism
  • multigenerational households
  • cultural transmission
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