Stress is now a major problem in many countries around the world. What are some of the factors in modern society that cause stress, and how can we reduce it? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Technology, per se, has made us what we are,
master
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masters
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of the universe, ranging from the control of fire at first to state-of-the-art devices, e.g., computers and
airplanes
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aeroplanes
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.
Although
these technologies have made our lives more convenient and safer dramatically, modern society has been more stressful for many people. Admitting that there is a matter of relativity how we may think about the main factor of stress, the answer varies from person to person, depending on the value systems or the countries. All in all, I believe that the most significant factor is the development of communication tools. First and foremost, I reckon that modern communication technologies cause conflicts with others.
For example
, the latest devices and platforms,
such
as smartphones and Instagram, enable us to get easy contact with people all over the world.
However
, we often misunderstand text messages and comments because they do not include facial expressions or background information about their owners.
Therefore
, users find society or relationships uncomfortable, and
as a result
, many people feel stressed.
Secondly
, but not less important, I suppose some solutions to address the problem. A lot of research shows that it is effective for relieving stress to take time for exercise like jogging. Indeed, sports make it possible for our bodies to reduce hormones that make us negative emotions,
for instance
, anxiety and sadness.
In addition
, meditation allows us to improve our mental health thanks to controlling our breath.
Hence
, physical exercise and meditation save us from stressed society. In conclusion, Westernized life compels us to communicate with others and requires us to deal with them. Excise is one of the most promising methods to tackle
this
problem.
That is
my view.
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task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support the claim that modern communication tools cause misunderstandings.
task achievement
Consider expanding on why "Westernized life" particularly leads to stress, as this claim could be further elaborated.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that the transitions between points are slightly smoother to enhance the overall flow of the essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion that frames the response well.
task achievement
The candidate successfully identifies a relevant factor (communication tools) as a stress source and ties it back to technological advancements.
coherence cohesion
The proposed solutions (exercise and meditation) are practical and relate well to the topic of stress reduction.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • unemployment
  • financial instability
  • social safety nets
  • constant connectivity
  • work-life balance
  • remote work
  • social isolation
  • community support
  • chronic illnesses
  • affordable healthcare
  • public health campaigns
  • mental well-being
  • high-stakes testing
  • holistic education
  • flexible working hours
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