It is better for children to grow up in the countryside than in a big city. Do you agree or disagree? Use specIt is better for children to grow up in the countryside than in a big city. Do you agree or disagree? Use specific reasons and examples to develop your essay.

#children #countryside #city #specit

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There is a continuous debate

whether

Change preposition

about whether

show examples

or not it is good for children to spend their initial years in rural

areas

Use synonyms

as opposed to in

centre

Add an article

the centre

show examples

of metropolitan

areas

Use synonyms

. I believe, from two key aspects, that they should grow up outside of busy big cities; namely, they can enjoy close and warm human relationships and

also

Linking Words

they can acquire significant benefits from the good natural environments and can grow healthier. The first fundamental reason for young kids should spend their early years in

countrisides

Correct your spelling

countries

is the merit they can obtain from their deep relationships

among

Change preposition

with

show examples

people

Use synonyms

living there.

For example

Linking Words

, unlike crowded cities where

people

Use synonyms

do not know each other, in many societies in local small towns,

people

Use synonyms

know each other well and care about their own neighbours. Children are raised as the family members of the society and they can enjoy the feeling of belongingness.

This

Linking Words

is a great asset for kids and young adults throughout their entire lives. The second most

signicant

Correct your spelling

significant

benefit for young

people

Use synonyms

to spend their early days in

countryside

Add an article

the countryside

show examples

is that

natural

Correct article usage

the natural

show examples

environments in those

areas

Use synonyms

can provide tremendous good effects

Change preposition

show examples

their physical health.

For instance

Linking Words

, as opposed to large dense places,

Correct article usage

the countrysides

show examples

countrysides

Fix the agreement mistake

countryside

show examples

have

Correct subject-verb agreement

has

show examples

fewer houses, less noise,

much

Correct word choice

and much

show examples

fewer wastes

Fix the agreement mistake

less waste

show examples

and

instead

Linking Words

, they have plenty of open spaces, more trees and green fields.

Atmospheric

Add an article

The atmospheric

show examples

environment is much better there and far less pollution

exits

Correct your spelling

exists

show examples

. All of these conditions give a wonderful background for children to build physical health in their early days. In conclusion, as discussed above, raising young kids in rural places as opposed to in crowded metropolitan

areas

Use synonyms

has huge advantages. They can develop warm human relationships derived from the close

relationship

Fix the agreement mistake

relationships

show examples

among the

people

Use synonyms

in the area as well they can grow to be mentally and physically robust adults thanks to the places' better natural environments.

Overall

Linking Words

, they can be stronger human beings who have

clear

Add an article

a clear

show examples

sense of belongingness among the

people

Use synonyms

they lived

when

Change preposition

with when

show examples

they

are

Wrong verb form

were

show examples

small.

Submitted by michima2011 on Tue Nov 01 2022

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task response

Your essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the task and presents a well-developed response. Your ideas are relevant and well-supported throughout the essay, contributing to a comprehensive answer to the question. Well done!

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a good overall logical structure and the introduction and conclusion are well-presented. However, there are some minor issues with coherence and cohesion in the body paragraphs. Try to use more linking words and phrases to improve the flow of your ideas and create stronger connections between sentences and paragraphs.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

329 words

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It is better for children to grow up in the countryside than in a big city. Do you agree or disagree? Use specIt is better for children to grow up in the countryside than in a big city. Do you agree or disagree? Use specific reasons and examples to develop your essay.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

You are planning for a vacation and want your friend to go with you. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter, you should: tell him/her why you want to take a vacation describe your plan invite him/her to go with you.

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Some people suggest that setting up more gyms will encourage people to remain active. What problems are associated with this proposal? What solutions can you offer for good health?

Nowadays student can access information online, so library services are no longer. Do you agree or disagree?

Many businesses think that the new employees who have just graduated from schools lack interpersonal skills, such as working with colleagues as a team. What has caused this and what are the solutions to this problem?