In most developed countries shopping is not about buying the goods you need, it is also perceived as entertainment. Is it a positive or negative development? Give your own opinion and examples based on your experience?

#countries #goods #entertainment #development

In modern

countries

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,countries

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people used to do shopping.

This

essay describes a positive

devepolment

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development

as relaxing and spending

time

together with

friend

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friends

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or family. I believe that

buing

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buying

being

goods can give you positive emotions. You can relax and

Unnecessary verb

apply

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not think of the work and daily problems. When

Change the verb form

going

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out and buy something it makes me feel happy. You have

time

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for

gor

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for

yourself.

Also

Add a comma

,Also

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it is a chance to spend

time

with your friend or

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family

famiy

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family

. I like

this

time

when we can do shopping together and

then

stay at the

caffe

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cafe

Caffe

to drink

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

tea

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and

show examples

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and

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talk. To conclude, I think that shopping is famous in developed countries.

Submitted by olgerda88 on Tue Nov 01 2022

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

109 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In most developed countries shopping is not about buying the goods you need, it is also perceived as entertainment. Is it a positive or negative development? Give your own opinion and examples based on your experience?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Your family is going to move to another town. Write a letter to the Principal of a local school asking if they will accept your son. Describe his academic achievements and scope of interests

International travel is becoming cheaper than before, so more and more countries open their doors to tourists. Do the advantages of the increased tourism outweigh the disadvantages?