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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

More and more people want to buy famous brands of clothes, cars and other products. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

#people #brands #clothes #cars #products #development
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Increasingly,
people
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 have spent more and more money buying famous brands of
goods
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 and it has increased
consumption
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 worldwide and
this
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 behaviour can be dangerous.
Hence
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, in my opinion, there are several problems in society
such
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 as class division, the increased
consumption
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 of material
goods
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 , still mental health disorders. Let's talk about it.
Firstly
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, according to research about
consumption
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 written by the Financial Guide journal, the increased
consumption
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 of material
goods
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, actually famous brands, brings up a deep problem for humanity where
people
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 usually are what they have.
For instance
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, the poor class in Brazil is at least 30% of the population and the poorest 10%, and it is a result of a lack of equality where the middle class is a symbol of famous brand
consumption
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. Nowadays is normal to see on the street imported cars, expensive watches and clothes.
Secondly
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,
in addition
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,
this
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 boost in
consumption
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 are developing mental health disorder only because
people
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 are used to having possessions.
Thus
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, a doctor specialist in mental issues said in an interview for the New York Times that those individuals who have been impacted by media and companies' advertisements can develop anxiety and depression.
For example
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, yearly brands
such
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 as Apple and the car market create new products model to maintain customers investing their money in it. To conclude, the problem isn't in how much
people
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 are spending buying
goods
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, and so, how it is impacting their life. In fact, controlling emotions and financial situations are the necessary balance for don't become a slave of the
consumption
Use synonyms
 industry.
Submitted by murilo.siqueira2012 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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