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Writing Samples
Band 7

t is widely believed that people's ability to learn new things decreases with age and that companies should actively recruit younger employees who have great potential to learn. To what extent do you agree or disagree

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It is often argued that people’s ability to acquire new knowledge declines with
age
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, and
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therefore
Punctuation problem
therefore,
show examples
companies
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 should prioritise recruiting younger
employees
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 who are believed to have greater learning potential.
While
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 younger
workers
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 may sometimes adapt more quickly to new technologies, I strongly disagree with the idea that
age
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 should be the main factor in recruitment. In my view,
companies
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 should hire
employees
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 based on their skills,
experience
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, attitude, and willingness to learn rather than their
age
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. First and foremost, one main reason is that experienced
employees
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 often bring valuable practical knowledge and strong problem-solving abilities to the workplace.
In other words
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, they have usually dealt with a wide range of real-life situations, which allows them to make better decisions and respond calmly under pressure.
For example
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, in the hospitality industry, an experienced chef can manage a busy service, maintain food quality, train junior staff, and solve unexpected problems more effectively than someone with little
experience
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.
Therefore
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,
companies
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 should not underestimate older
workers
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, as their
experience
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 can directly contribute to the success and stability of a business.
However
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, many people argue that younger
employees
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 are more capable of learning new things quickly.
In other words
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, they may be more energetic, flexible, and familiar with modern technology.
For instance
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, younger
workers
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 may adapt faster to new digital systems, social media platforms, or workplace software.
Nevertheless
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,
this
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 does not mean they are automatically more valuable to a company. Hiring young staff can
also
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 involve significant training costs, as they often need time, guidance, and supervision before they can work independently.
By contrast
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, experienced
employees
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 may already understand workplace expectations and can contribute effectively from the beginning. Taking everything into consideration, I strongly believe that learning ability does not depend solely on
age
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. It depends more on a person’s mindset, motivation, health, and willingness to improve.
Although
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 young
employees
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 can bring fresh ideas and technological confidence, experienced
workers
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 offer skills, judgement, and reliability that are equally important.
For
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this
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 reason,
companies
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 should avoid
age
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-based recruitment and
instead
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 choose
employees
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according to
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 their
overall
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 ability,
experience
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, and potential to contribute to the business

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task response
Make your main view even more clear in each body part.
task response
Add one more very clear and real example to make your ideas stronger.
task response
You answer all parts well, but you can explain the other side a bit more before you reject it.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay is easy to follow. To make it better, use a few more linking words with care.
coherence and cohesion
Some lines like 'In other words' are used many times. Try to vary this.
coherence and cohesion
Your topic sentences are clear, but you can make the link between ideas smoother in some places.
task response
You give a clear answer from the start and keep the same view all through the essay.
task response
Your ideas are clear and well developed.
task response
The example of the chef is relevant and helps support your point.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear intro, body parts, and ending.
coherence and cohesion
Each paragraph has one main idea, so the structure is strong.
coherence and cohesion
Your points move in a logical order and are easy to follow.
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