IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 8

The crime rate will fall as advances in technology make it easier to detect and prevent crimes. Do you agree or disagree?

#crime #rate #fall #advances #technology #crimes
Believed that the improvements in technology can help to prevent and explore crimes in an easy way and
consequently
, the rate of felonies will decline. I totally agree with
this
 opinion due to the reasons which will be discussed in the following paragraphs.
To begin
 with, science has been developing through time and perhaps,
this
 is one of the achievements of human beings. Nowadays, the governments increase their use of surveillance cameras which are located everywhere in each essential place in the town
such
 as supermarkets, apartments, parking and schools. Fortunately, these closed-circuit televisions make detection and prevention much easier.
For instance
, if a thief wants to rob a bank, the employers in charge can easily see him.
Also
, when people see these cameras around the areas, they feel safer and it will raise their confidence in the policy.
Furthermore
, there are some types of gates, which are situated in public places like airports, big malls, banks and etc. These pieces of equipment are used for identifying sharp-edge weapons and some other stuff that are made of metal
such
 as knives. The bombs and shockers can
also
 be diagnosed by these x-ray machines.
For example
, if someone hides a gun in the pocket of his coat, these metal-diagnosing gates can find it with no difficulty and prevent a harmful victim. As discussed in the above paragraphs, I totally agree with the idea that by developing the tech, crimes and violence can be diagnosed without difficulties and caused not to happen.
Submitted by bahar on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: