IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfied job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some
people
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 think that it is better to accept an unpleasant
situation
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,
such
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 as an unhappy job or financial problems,
while
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 others believe that
people
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 should try to improve it. Both views will be discussed before offering a personal opinion. On the one hand, it is undeniable that there are arguments for accepting a difficult
situation
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.
Firstly
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, not everyone has the opportunity to change their job or increase their income.
For example
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,
people
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 living in rural areas may only have limited employment choices, so they have to accept what is available to survive.
Secondly
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, acknowledging reality can sometimes bring peace of mind. If individuals constantly compare themselves with others, they may feel stressed and unhappy,
whereas
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 acceptance can reduce disappointment and help them focus on other aspects of life,
such
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 as family or health.
On the other hand
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, it is essential to recognise that individuals should acknowledge that trying to improve a bad
situation
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 is more beneficial.
People
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 who are dissatisfied with their jobs can look for new opportunities, learn new skills, or even start their own business. These actions not only require time but
also
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 effort, but they can lead to a more rewarding career and better income in the future.
Moreover
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, financial hardship can
also
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 be improved if
people
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 try to manage their spending, seek extra sources of income, or set clear goals. In
this
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 way, they are more likely to achieve long-term satisfaction rather than remain in an unhappy state. In my opinion,
this
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 choice will depend on each individual
,
Punctuation problem
. While
show examples
while
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 accepting reality may help
people
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 feel less pressure in the short term, it is generally better to make efforts to improve one’s
situation
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. In my opinion,
this
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 choice will depend on each individual. Life offers many opportunities, and with determination and patience,
people
Use synonyms
 can overcome difficulties and create a better future for themselves.

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task response
Plan your essay with a short intro that states the view, then discuss both sides with clear topic sentences, and end with a straight closing that repeats your view.
task response
Use one clear stance in the end and avoid repeating the same opinion twice.
coherence
Link ideas with simple words like but, however, and also and use topic sentences to show the plan.
coherence
Make a clear order of ideas in each paragraph and end with a short conclusion.
task response
Give more close examples or facts to show you really see both sides, not just a few generic points.
strength
Good choice to give real life examples.
strength
The writer shows both sides, not just one.
strength
There are clear linking words to show ideas.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • adversity
  • resilience
  • stoicism
  • contentment
  • cope
  • adapt
  • endure
  • persevere
  • settle
  • ambition
  • tenacious
  • determined
  • resourceful
  • optimistic
  • self-improvement
  • proactive
  • initiative
  • transform
  • overcome
  • confront
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