IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Tourism is one of the fastest growing industries and contributes a great deal to economies around the world. However, the damage tourism can cause to local cultures and the environment is often ignored. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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These days, the tourist industry has been developing considerably, and
this
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 can help countries with
economical
Replace the word
economic
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 development.
By contrast
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,
tourism
Use synonyms
 can bring out some cultural and environmental issues which are ignored. I agree with
this
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 partly. It is obvious that
tourism
Use synonyms
 can lead a country to grow in terms of economy and culture.
In other words
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, the rate of unemployment can decrease in local areas.
For instance
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, many hotels are constructed which need a workforce to service visitors.
In addition
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, local vendors have an opportunity to sell their traditional products more as
tourists
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 are interested in buying souvenirs. In fact, local citizens have a chance to introduce their cultural background and traditions to other countries by selling their local items and decorating their show windows in a traditional way.
On the other hand
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,
tourism
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 can cause some environmental problems. There are some visitors who do not care about the importance of attraction destinations.
For example
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, there are some historical monuments which are restricted to entry,and visitors have to visit them at a distance. Some
tourists
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 break the rules and it is likely that these old ruins destroyed gradually.
Moreover
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, there are some national parks which have some facilities for
tourists
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 to stay there like tents and aquatic equipment. There are some
tourists
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 who litter and they damage trees to make a fire. I believe that the importance of these damages may be overlooked by the authorities thanks to the financial profit which is earned through the tourist industry.
To sum up
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, it seems to me that many countries make a large amount of money through
tourism
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.
Therefore
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, many governments ignore the drawbacks of
this
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 industry like environmental damage.

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coherence cohesion
To enhance coherence and cohesion, aim to develop a more logical sequence of ideas throughout the essay. This can be achieved by using transitional phrases and clearer paragraph divisions to guide the reader logically from one point to the next.
task achievement
Provide more comprehensive ideas and analysis. Aim to delve deeper into both the positive and negative impacts of tourism, supporting your points with more specific examples and evidence.
coherence cohesion
The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the discussion on the impacts of tourism.
task achievement
The task is directly addressed, outlining both positive and negative impacts of tourism on economies and cultures.
task achievement
There is an attempt to provide specific examples, such as the impact of employment opportunities and environmental concerns, which supports the main points.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Economic growth
  • Cultural dilution
  • Environmental degradation
  • Responsible tourism
  • Ecotourism
  • Cultural conservation
  • Habitat destruction
  • Sustainable practices
  • Cultural exchange
  • Commercialization of cultural sites
  • Cultural heritage
  • Local ecosystems
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