The only reason for people working hard is to earn money. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Lacking
money
is an issue for some, which leads to the opinion that the sole purpose behind working diligently is to earn more money
. I totally disagree with this
notion and will give my rationale in this
discussion.
Having financial issues could decrease the quality of life, which contributes to someone
working harder than others to fulfil their basic needs. Take the financial recession in 2008 as an example, many people lost their jobs and their homes which consequently
made people work
harder and make more money
to sustain their normal needs. Or if a member of a middle-class family was diagnosed with a terminal health problem, in order to pay for the long-term treatment, someone
in the family potentially needs to double their time of work
to earn more money
. Therefore
, some do have the need to devote more time and energy working to make extra cash, not with the sole purpose of making a lot of money
but in order to cover their needs.
Another reason why some focus on work
more than others is because they have a mission. Take ultra-marathon runner and Ex-Navy SEAL David Goggins as an example, he was able to participate in the world's most challenging marathon to date and actually finished it with record timing. In order to achieve such
a feat, he worked very diligently on himself and with his mission backing him up which was raising money
. Moreover
, the funding he received from the marathon was not for himself but for providing for the families of his fallen comrades in the Navy while
on active duty. Thus
, there are higher purposes to push someone
to focus on their job, career or mission.
In conclusion, earning more monetary possessions is not the only reason for a person to work
harder but there are other purposes that motivate someone
to do so.Submitted by tu.diepminh on
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Structure
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Sentence Structure
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Examples
Your use of examples, such as the financial recession in 2008 and the story of David Goggins, is commendable and strengthens your arguments. Continuously integrating relevant examples will continue to elevate the quality of your essays.
Introduction
The essay features a strong introduction that clearly presents your stance on the topic, setting a solid foundation for the discussion.
Cohesion
You have successfully used cohesive devices, such as 'Therefore' and 'Moreover,' to link ideas logically, which greatly aids in the coherence of your essay.
Conclusion
The conclusion efficiently summarizes your stance and reinforces your primary argument, effectively closing the discussion.